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老友记/六人行/Friends 第八季 第二十集 S08E20 The One with the Baby Shower / 宝宝欢迎会

老友记/六人行/Friends 第八季 第二十集 S08E20 The One with the Baby Shower / 宝宝欢迎会

Monica gives a baby shower for Rachel, where the future mother will find out that she doesn't know to much about babies. 莫妮卡给了瑞秋一个婴儿淋浴,在未来的母亲,会发现她不太了解婴儿。

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英汉双语对照剧本

- Hi. - Hey.
- 嗨 - 嘿

So, what's the final head count on my baby shower?
有多少人会来参加 宝宝的欢迎会?

About 20. A couple people from work who had something else to do.
大约有20个人 有些同事有事没办法来

Also, your sisters called, neither can make it.
你的妹妹们打电话来说 她们没办法来

What? You mean they're not coming to a social event...
什么? 你说她们不来参加...

...where there's no men and no booze? That's shocking.
没有男人跟酒的社交聚会? 那真的是太稀奇了

Well, I don't care. As long as my mom's here.
我不在乎 只要我妈能来就行了

- Oh, my God. Your mother. - What, my mom's not gonna be here?
- 天啊 你妈 - 什么?我妈不会来吗?

Well, given that we forgot to invite her,it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
说不定我们忘了邀请她 反而能让她松口气

Oh, my God.
我的天啊

Well, it wasn't my fault. Phoebe was in charge of the invitations.
不是我的错 菲比负责发请帖的

Well, I don't have a mother. So often I forget other people--
我没有妈妈 所以我常忘了...

Oh, give it a rest.
得了吧

So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?
我妈妈不来参加 宝宝的欢迎会?

No.


Neither is mine.
我妈也不会来

You know what? Don't worry.Okay? We'll take care of it. We'll call her. Just go home and get ready.
我们会处理的 我们会打电话给她 你先回家做准备

Please make sure she comes. It's really important to me. It's my mom.
确定她一定会来 这很重要 她是我妈

- I know. What's her number? - I don't know.
- 我知道 她电话号码几号? - 我不知道

Go. I have it in my book. Go.
你去吧 我记在我的电话簿里了

Wait a minute! If you're in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call her
如果你负责寄请帖 为什么是我打电话给她?

Hello, Mrs. Green. Hi, uh, it's Monica Geller.
喂 葛林太太 嗨 我是摩妮卡盖勒

- Oh, hello, Monica. - Hi.
- 哈罗 摩妮卡 - 嗨

Um, I know this is last-minute, but we've decided to throw an impromptu...
这是紧急通知 我们打算在今天...

baby shower for Rachel today. - I know. My daughters told me about it
- 帮瑞秋的宝宝办欢迎会 - 我的女儿们已经告诉我了...

...when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
她们在一个月前 就接到欢迎会的请帖

- Okay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. - For what, dear?
- 好吧 我很抱歉 - 为什么呢?亲爱的

For not inviting me, or for lying about it?
为了没有邀请我 还是你说谎骗我呢?

Oh, my God. My ass is sweating.
天啊 我的屁股在流汗

Please, please, can you come? It's today at 4.
拜托 你能来吗? 欢迎会四点开始

- Well, all right. I'll see you at 4. - Thank you.
- 好吧 四点见 - 谢谢

- Isn't it at 3? - Son of a bitch.
- 不是三点开始吗? - 混蛋

- Hey, Joe. Wanna shoot some hoops?
乔伊 你要去打篮球吗?

No, I can't go, I'm practicing. I got an audition to be the host of a game show.
我不能去 我在练习 我要参加新游戏节目主持人的试镜

- Cool. - Great.
- 酷啊 - 太棒了

Yeah, and if I get it, by day, I'll be Dr. Drake Ramoray.
如果我能当上主持人 白天我是德瑞克拉莫瑞医生

But by night, I'll be Joey Tribbiani.
但晚上我是乔伊崔比亚尼

You'll be perfect for this. That's already your name.
你非常适合这份工作 节目名称跟你的名字一样

The audition's in a couple hours, and I don't even understand the game.
再过几小时就要试镜 我搞不懂这个游戏

Do you want some help?
你需要帮忙吗?

Oh, really? That'd be great. Hey, you guys can be the contestants. -Awesome.
真的吗?那真的太棒了 你们可以当参赛者 -棒极了

Okay, I guess we can lose to junior-high girls some other time.
我们可以下次 再去让国中女生赢球

- All right. Let's play Bamboozled.
好吧 我们来玩晕头转向

- Bamboozled? Isn't that a cool name?
- 晕头转向? - 对 名字很酷吧?

-Yeah. -No.
- 对 - 不对

All right.Uh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller.
好吧 第一位参赛者是罗斯盖勒

Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself, Ross?
自我介绍一下吧 罗斯

Well, uh, I'm a paleontologist. Um, I live in New York.
我是古生物学家 我住在纽约

I have a son, Ben. Uh, hi, Ben. And, uh--
我有个儿子叫做班 嗨 班 还有...

I said a little bit, Ross. Now, how about you, Chandler?
我叫你自我介绍一下 罗斯 你呢?钱德

Well, Joey, I'm a headhunter. I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists...
我是个猎头专家 我为叛变的第三世界国家...

...with rogue Third World nations. Hi, Rasputin.
寻找失业的苏联科学家 嗨 拉斯普廷

Excellent. Let's play Bamboozled. Chandler, you'll go first.
太棒了 我们开始吧 钱德 你先

- What is the capital of Colombia? - Bogoté.
- 哥伦比亚的首都在哪里? - 波哥大

It's Bogoda, but close enough.
是波格大 但很接近了

Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango Card.
可以把机会让给罗斯 或挑魔法机会牌

- What does a Wicked Wango Card do? - I should know that.
- 魔法机会牌可以做什么? - 我早该知道的

Let's see. Just one moment, please, um...
让我看看 请等一下...

Here we are. A Wicked Wango Card determines whether you go higher or lower.
好了 魔法机会牌 能决定你要向上或是向下

Higher or lower than what?
什么东西向上或是向下?

- This is embarrassing. - Can you believe how lame this is?
- 这真的是太丢脸了 - 你能相信这有多烂吗?

I'm sorry. I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
抱歉 我想参赛者不该交谈

Oh, I told the stripper to be here at 5. That's good, right?
我叫脱衣舞男五点要到 可以吗?

You ordered a stripper for the shower? That is totally inappropriate.
你请脱衣舞男来宝宝欢迎会? 那太不得体了

Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.
为什么?他会打扮成宝宝的样子

Oh, hi, Mrs. Green. I'm so glad you could make it.
嗨 葛林太太 我很高兴你赶来了

Yes, thank you so much. And again, we're so sorry.We could not feel worse about it.
谢谢你 我们很抱歉 我们真的很过意不去

Try.
试试看吧

There's my little girl.
我女儿在那边

- She's still mad. - Yeah, I know.
- 她还在生气 - 对 我知道

Isn't it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
那不是很棒吗? 少了一个人跟你咬耳朵

Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too. It doesn't bother you?
菲比 珊卓拉也在生你的气 你不会感到困扰吗?

Look, we've apologized twice. I can't do any more than that.
我们道了两次歉 我真的没办法了

I know you hate it when people are mad at you...
我知道你讨厌别人生你的气...

...but, you know, you just have to be okay with it.
但你得去接受

Okay. I can do that.
好吧 我办得到

- I gotta go powder my ass. - Oh.
- 我得去帮我的屁股扑痱子粉 - 喔

Look at that face. Just like when you were in high school.
看看你的脸 你跟念高中时还是一样

If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble.
要不是我很了解你 我会以为你是个有麻烦的啦啦队员

- Come on, let's get some tea. - Okay.
- 来吧 我们去喝点茶 - 好吧

Ooh, my. Look at that. Only three weeks to go.
天啊 你看你 只剩三星期了

Now, have you picked your nanny yet?I don't want you to just use your housekeeper,because it'll just split her focus.
你挑好奶妈了吗? 如果请管家兼职 她会分心的

Oh. Actually, I'm not gonna use a nanny. And, uh, I don't even have a housekeeper.
事实上我不请奶妈 我也没有管家

It's like you're a cave person.
你好像山顶洞人

Rachel, you must get a nanny.You don't know how overwhelming this is gonna be.
你得请个奶妈 你不知道带孩子有多累

When you were a baby, I had full-time help. I had Mrs. K.
你小时候我雇用了K太太

Mrs. K. Oh, yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish.
K太太 对 她人真的很好 她教我西班牙文

I actually think I remember some of it:
我想我还记得一点

- Such a sweet woman. - Yeah.
- 真是个好人 - 是啊

Well, however great she was, I just can't afford that.
不管她多很棒 我出不起那笔钱

- Oh, Rachel. - What?
- 瑞秋! - 什么?

I just had the greatest idea. I'm gonna come live with you.
我想到一个好点子 我要搬过去跟你们住

What? What?
什么?

Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna do this for my little girl.
很高兴我能帮我女儿这个忙

Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
看看你 你感动得都快哭了

Yes, yes, I do.
没错 我是快哭了

All right, Ross, you're in the lead.
罗斯 现在是你颌先

Would you like to take another question, or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
你要再回答一题 或转处罚轮?

The Wheel has not been my friend tonight, Joey. Uh...
今天我转轮子的运气不太好 乔伊

I'll take another question.
我要再回答一题

Okay. This is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
好吧 这题很难 深呼吸

It's okay. I'm ready.
没关系 我准备好了

No, dude, you gotta hold your breath till you're ready to answer the question.It's part of the game
你得真的深呼吸 再回答问题 这是游戏的一部分

This is ridiculous. He's not gonna hold--
这太可笑了 他没办法深呼...

Okay. What do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia? Triska...
好吧 如果你害怕恐惧的感觉 那该怎么说?惧...

Holy cow. That's a big word. Tris...
天啊 那个字真长 惧...

Seriously, look at this thing, Chandler. How do you say that?
看看这个 这该怎么念?

- Let me see that. - This one right here.
- 让我看看 - 就是这个字

- Triskaidekaphobia. - Fear of Triscuits.
- 惧13症 - 害怕树上

- No. No. Fear of the number 13. - Fear of Triscuits?
- 不 是害怕13 - 害怕树上?

It's possible. They have really sharp edges.
这有可能 它们真的都尖尖的

All right, Chandler, you're up.
钱德 轮到你了

Wait a minute. I believe I'm entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn.
我要用天使通行证 换免费的机会

- This game makes no sense. - You're just upset because you're losing.
- 这个游戏真的很不合逻辑 - 你很生气是因为你输了

Oh, come on, Ross. I think we're all losers here.
少来了 罗斯 我想我们都是失败者

All right. Chandler, you can either spin the Wheel or pick a Google Card.
钱德 你可以选转轮子 或选张搜索牌

Let me think, let me think. Oh, uh, I don't care.
让我想想 我不在乎

You must choose, Mr. Bing.
你非选不可 宾先生

- Either. It makes no difference. - Choose, you jackass.
- 那还是没有差别 - 快选吧 混蛋

- I'll take a card. - Okay, you picked the Gimme Card.
- 我要抽卡片 - 你选到了给我卡

- You get all of Ross' points. - What?
- 你拿到罗斯所有的分数 - 什么?

This game is kind of fun.
这个游戏开始好玩起来了

You don't think it's a little crazy that you get all my points--?
你不觉得你拿到我的分数 太疯狂了...

I don't think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
参赛者不该交谈的

- Why did you invite my mother? -What?
- 你为什么要邀请我妈来? - 什么?

She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
她要搬过来跟我和罗斯住 以便帮忙照顾宝宝

- For how long? - Eight weeks.
- 多久? - 八星期

I mean, I love my mother, but, my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
我爱我妈 但是天啊 跟她一起吃午餐太久就是种折磨

I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
如果她想跟我住 我会觉得很光荣

She can't hear you.
她听不到

You guys, come on. What am I gonna do?
我该怎么办?

If you don't want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
如果不希望她搬过去 你该直说的

You're right. You're right. I'm about to have a baby.
你说的对 我就快生了

I can tell my mother that I don't want her to be sleeping on my couch.
我可以说我不希望 她睡在沙发上

Oh, my God. She's gonna wanna sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen.
她会跟我一起睡在床上 绝不能让那种事发生

That's right. That is right.
没错

You go over there and tell her you do not want her to live with you.
告诉她 你不希望她搬过去跟你们住

- Do not take no for an answer. - Okay.
别让她拒绝你

This is great. Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel.
这真的太棒了 现在她会生瑞秋的气

And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
我要跑过去 当她的乖女儿讨好她

I have new respect for Chandler.
我真的要很尊敬钱德了

-All right, everybody. It's time to open the presents.
好了 大伙们 该来拆礼物了

Yes, and I think that the first gift that Rachel opens...
对 瑞秋要折的第一样礼物...

...should be from the grandmother of the baby.
应该是外婆送的礼物

Because you're the most important person in this room. And in the world.
因为你是这里最重要的人 也是全世界最重要的

Well, um, I don't have a gift because I wasn't invited until the last minute.
我没有准备礼物 因为我在最后一分钟才被邀请

But thank you so much, dear, for bringing that to everybody's attention.
但非常谢谢你 亲爱的 让大家都注意到这一点

How about you less important people? Let's open your presents.
你们这些不重要的人呢? 来拆你们的礼物吧

- Mom, it's okay that you didn't get me a gift. - Well, I kind of did.
- 你没准备礼物也没关系 - 但我也算是送了你- 样礼物

- Me. Eight weeks of me. - Yeah.
- 我要跟你同住八个星期 - 是啊

Okay. See, Mom, the truth is, I can do this on my own.
好吧 妈妈 事实上我可以自己照顾宝宝

Sweetheart, I know you're gonna be a terrific mom.
我知道你会是个好妈妈

I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
但一开始你需要帮忙

But, Mom, I really know what I'm doing. I can handle this.
我知道我在做什么 我应付得来

Really? Remember Twinkles?
真的吗?还记得亮亮吗?

He was a hamster. I'm not gonna vacuum up my baby.
他是只仓鼠 我不会拿吸尘器吸我的宝宝

Okay, come on, Rach. It's present time.
快来吧 瑞秋 拆礼物的时问到了

You know, you're the glue holding this whole party together.
你是这个派对的主角

It's kind of falling apart here.
现在这个派对也快毁了

- Ooh, look.
- 你看 - 哇

This is from your friends at work.
这是你同事送的

Ooh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, I know what this is.
天啊 哇 我知道这是什么

Wait a minute.
等一下

That can't be right.
不可能

Is that a beer bong for a baby?
这是宝宝的啤酒机吗?

Darling, that's a breast pump.
女儿 那是挤奶器

Heh. Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that.
我说过我不猜了吗? 好吧 谢谢

Ooh, wow. What's this?
哇 这是什么?

- It's a Diaper Genie. - Oh, it dispenses clean diapers.
- 是尿布精灵 - 用来放干净尿布的

No, it's where you put dirty ones.
那是放脏尿布的

Well, that's gross. Why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a Dumpster?
好嗯心 为什么不直接 把尿布丢在外面的垃圾桶?

- You're gonna do that 10 times a day? - What, it goes 10 times a day?
- 你每天要丢十次吗? - 什么?宝宝一天可以拉十次?

What are we feeding this baby, Indian food?
我们是喂她印度食物吗?

No, dear. That's what babies do.
不 宝宝都是那样的

Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
瑞秋 听你妈妈的话 她非常聪明

Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while you're trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
你去倒垃圾桶时 宝宝要放在哪里?

I don't know, I'd leave it on the changing table?
我不知道 把她放在尿布台上?

- What? What did I do? What did I do? - You can't leave a baby alone.
- 什么?我做了什么? - 你不能丢下宝宝- 个人

Of course, I know that.
我当然知道

I mean, of course you never leave a baby alone.
千万不能丢下宝宝一个人

I mean, it would-- She wouldn't be safe.
它会...那不安全

You know, not as safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy.
她跟我这个菜鸟妈妈在一起 也不会安全

Okay, you know what? Opening the presents is a little overwhelming right now.
现在拆礼物太刺激了

So I think, um, I'm just gonna maybe open them all a little bit later.
我待会儿再把它们全部折开

But thank you all for coming, and for these beautiful gifts...
谢谢你们赶来 还送了礼物...

-...and this basket is beautiful. - It's actually a bassinet.
- 这个篮子很漂亮 - 这是摇篮

Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.
好吧 妈妈 别离开我

In what John Huston film would you hear this line:"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges."
你会在哪部电影听到这句台词? "我们不需要臭警徽"

- Treasure of the Sierra Madre. - Correct.There's a possible backwards bonus!
- 《碧血金沙》 - 答对了 倒念还能加分

- Madre Sierra the of Treasure. - Yes.
- 沙金血碧 - 对

I'd like to go up the Ladder of Chance to the Golden Mud Hut, please.
我要爬上机会梯 到金泥屋去

- Wise choice. How many rungs? - Six.
- 聪明的选择 几阶? - 六阶

- That noise can only mean one thing. - Hungry Monkey.
- 那个声音只代表一个意思 - 饥饿的猴子

- I'd like a Wicked Wango Card. - Okay. It's an audio question.
- 我要魔法机会牌 - 这是声音题

Name this television theme song:
说出这出电视剧的主题曲

Oh. Oh, my God. Okay, I know this. Give me a second.
天啊 我知道 让我想一想

- Tell it to the Time Turtle. - Shut up.
- 去跟时间乌龟说吧 - 闭嘴

- I Dream of Jeannie. - Yes. Yes, you're back in the lead.
- 《太空仙女恋》 - 答对了 你再度颌先

Uh, I'd like to spin the Wheel.
我要转轮子

Oh, come on.
快点!

Uh, uh, Super Speedy Speed Round.
超级快速回合

- Is there a Hopping Bonus? - Of course.
- 跳跃有加分吗? - 当然

- Who invented bifocals? - Ben Franklin.
- 谁发明了双焦点透镜? - 班法兰克林

Correct. Which monarch has ruled Great Britain the longest?
答对了 哪个君王统治英国最久?

- Queen Victoria. - Correct again.
- 维多莉亚女王 - 又答对了

But you forgot to switch legs between questions. So no Hopping Bonus.
你忘了换题时要换腿跳 跳跃动作没加分

- Oh! Every time. - Yeah.
- 每次都这样! - 对

- Now over to Chandler. - I'd like a Google Card.
- 对 现在轮到钱德了 - 我要搜索卡

- Are you sure? - Yes. No. Google.
- 你确定? - 确定!不!搜索卡!

Oh, my God. Congratulations, Ross. Because, Chandler...
天啊 恭喜你 罗斯 因为钱德...

-...you've been Bamboozled. - No!
- 你已经出局了 - 不!

- Yes! - This is the best game ever!
- 太好了! - 这是我玩过最棒的游戏!

So, um, you're gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
只要我有需要 你就会留下来?

- Of course I am. - Mom, I swear I'm not an idiot.
- 当然 - 我发誓我不是白痴

I read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth.
我看了一堆怀孕跟生产的书

But I just didn't think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes.
我没有看如何带宝宝的书

And, guess what, the baby's coming...
宝宝出生后...

...and I don't know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my Diaper Genie?
我不知道我该怎么办 我可以吐在尿布精灵里吗?

Oh, sweetie, you're gonna be fine.
甜心 你会没事的

- Wait, where you going? - I'm going to the bathroom.
- 你要去哪里? - 我得上洗手间

Now, don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay.
别担心 一切都会没事的

It is gonna be okay.
会没事的

Worth a shot.
值得一试

- Hey. -Hey.
-嘿 -嘿

Why are you all red and sweaty?
你干嘛满脸通红全身是汗?

I just Bamboozled Chandler.
我刚刚干掉钱德了

Which is not a sexual thing.
我没有对他不轨

- Well, that was a quick shower. - Not if you were here.
- 欢迎会这么快就结束了 - 你没来才这么说

Wow, looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
看来我们收到不少好礼物

We did. But my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
没错 我妈送给我们最棒的礼物

A Play-Doh Barbershop?
培乐多理发师工具组?

No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks.
不 她要搬过来 跟我们住八星期

What?
什么?

Yes. She's gonna help us take care of the baby.
对 她要帮我们照顾宝宝

You're not serious.
你不是说真的吧

I mean, she's a very nice woman,but there's no way we can take eight weeks of her.
她是个好人 但我们无法忍受她八个星期

- She'll drive us totally crazy-- - Hi, Ross.
- 她会把我们逼疯... - 嗨 罗斯

Hey, roomie.
嘿 室友

Hey, Joey, hi, I'm Ray. I'm the producer of the show.
乔伊 我是雷 本节目的制作人

It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray.
很荣幸能见到你 雷

And this is Duncan and Erin. They're gonna help out with the audition.So let's get the camera rolling.
他们是唐肯跟艾玲 他们会帮你试镜

- Righty-0, Ray. - Whenever you're ready.
- 对 雷 - 你准备好了就开始

Hello. I'm Joey Tribbiani. Let's play Bamboozled.
哈罗 我是乔伊崔比亚尼 我们来玩晕头转向吧

Erin, you get the first question. In hockey, who is known as "The Great One"?
艾玲 第一个问题 在曲棍球史上 谁被称为是"伟人"?

- Wayne Gretzky. - Correct.
- 葛瑞斯基 - 答对了

Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango Card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
你要挑魔法机会卡 或转轮子?

Uh, Joey, didn't your agents give you the revised rules?
你的经纪人没有给你 重编的游戏规则吗?

We've eliminated all that. No wheel. No cards.
我们把那些东西都删掉了 没有轮子或机会卡

What? Why?
为什么?

Well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didn't follow it.
那太复杂了 市场研究显示观众没办法了解

What's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance...
复杂?转轮子上机会梯...

...past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey.
经过金泥屋 穿越彩虹环找金猴

You yank his tail, and boom, you're in Paradise Pond.
拉它的尾巴 就能到天堂池

Yeah. All that's gone.
对 那些都删掉了

Um, it's basically just a simple question-and-answer game now.
现在这只是个 简单的问答游戏

Well, what's fun about that?
那有什么好玩的呢?

You expect me to be the host of a boring game,that's just people standing around answering questions?
你要我主持 观众回答问题的无聊游戏?

Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores.
会有比基尼女郎拿得分板

Let's play Bamboozled.
我们来玩晕头转向吧

And all those dinosaur knickknacks you have...
你买的那些恐龙小玩意...

...Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
罗斯 它们或许比较适合 放在车库里

- Well, we don't have a garage. - Did I say garage? I meant garbage.
- 我们没有车库 - 我说车库吗?我是说垃圾桶

You know what, Mrs. Green? Maybe it's not absolutely vital that you live with us.
你知道吗? 或许你不一定要跟我们住在一起

- Well, Rachel needs help with the baby. - I do. I really do. I don't know anything.
- 瑞秋需要人帮忙带孩子 - 真的 我什么都不会

I'm sure that's not true.
我相信那不是真的

Oh, no? Pheebs, Monica, do I know anything about babies?
是吗?菲比 摩妮卡 我会带孩子吗?

- Nope. Not a thing. - It's frightening.
- 不 完全不懂 - 那真的很可怕

Well, um, you know what? Even if she doesn't know anything, I do.
就算她不会 但是我会

I have a son. His mother and I didn't live together.
我有个儿子 他妈妈跟我没有住在一起

Whenever he was with me, I took care of him all the time, by myself.
他跟我一起住时 我都是自己照顾他

- That's true. You do have another child. - Yeah.
- 没错 你还有一个孩子 - 对

With another woman.
跟另一个女人生的

Have you no control, Ross?
你没有自制力吗 罗斯?

That's a different issue.
那是另一个问题

Um, the point is, when the baby comes, I will be there to feed her...
重点是宝宝出生后 我会帮忙喂她...

...and bathe her and change her.
帮她洗澡、换尿布

And more than that, I want to do all those things.
我想要照顾她

Well, then you really don't need me to live with you. -Yes!
- 你们不需要我搬过去 - 对!

Yes. You're gonna be so missed.
对 我们会想念你的

You're gonna be a great father. -Well, you're gonna be a wonderful grandma.
- 你会是个好爸爸 - 你会是个好外婆

Hello? I still don't know what the hell I'm doing.
哈罗? 我还是不知道我该做什么

Come on, every first-time mother feels that way.
新手妈妈都会有那种感觉

You're gonna pick it up. Hey, you will. Look, when you first came to the city...
你可以慢慢学 你会的 你刚到纽约来时...

...you were this spoiled, helpless little girl who still used Daddy's credit cards, remember?
你是个被宠坏的无助小女孩 只会用爸爸的信用卡

I hope you're going somewhere with this.
我希望 你真的有话要告诉我

Look at you. You're this big executive.
看看你 你现在是个大主管

You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for.
你很能干 证明了自己的能力

I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother.
我相信 你会是个好妈妈

- Really? - I'm telling you.
- 真的吗? - 没错

Thank you.
谢谢

All right, you two. I'm gonna get going.
好吧 我得走了

- Oh, no, sweetheart, you stay put.
不 甜心 别送了

I'll let myself out. It's like I'm not here. Which I almost wasn't.
我自己出去 就当我没来过这里 我差点真的来不了

You're just so funny. You're so funny. What do I do?
你真的太幽默了 我该怎么办?

Nothing. You have apologized to her like a million times.
什么也不用做 你跟她道歉很多次

And she's been nothing but terrible to you.
她完全无视于你的道歉

And don't forget, you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower.
你让她女充办了 一个可爱不过有点无聊的欢迎会

- And she hasn't even thanked you for it. - You know what? You're right.
- 她甚至没有谢谢你 - 你知道吗?你说的对

Yeah, I mean, if you wanna say anything to her, I'd tell her off.
如果真的有话要说 也该是训她

- Really? - Uh-huh.
真的吗?

Okay, I will.
好吧 我会的

Mrs. Green?
葛林太太

Mrs. Green?
葛林太太

It is rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host.
不跟主人道别 就离开派对是很无礼的

And also, when someone apologizes to you,the decent thing to do is to accept it.
如果有人跟你道歉 有良心的人都会接受

Because what I did to you, it wasn't on purpose.
我不是故意要那么做的

But what you're doing to me now is just plain spiteful.
但你对我的态度 太可耻了

- Spiteful? -That's right.
- 可耻? - 没错

Maybe it's time you took a good, hard look in the mirror, young lady.
你该好好去照镜子 小姑娘

Old lady.
老太婆

Lady.
女士

Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.
别说了 别说了 别说了

So whenever you're ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you.
只要你准备好跟我道歉 我会原谅你

Good day.
再见

I can't feel my legs.
我的脚没有感觉

You were fantastic. I'm so proud of you.
你真的太棒了 我非常以你为荣

- Yeah? I'm proud of me too. - You should be.
- 是吗?我也以自己为荣 - 应该的

- Could you get me something to drink? - You got it.
- 你能帮我拿杯饮料吗? - 没问题

Mrs. Green? Okay, I'm really sorry. I apologize. If you just!
葛林太太 我真的很抱歉! 对不起 如果你...

Okay. I bit my tongue.
好吧 我咬到舌头了

But I'm still really sorry.
但我真的很抱歉

- Okay, I'm ready. - You sure?
- 好 我准备好了 - 你确定?

Yes. I've done my studying, and I really know my stuff.
我看过书 把一切都弄清楚了

All right, then.
好吧

Rachel Green, let's play Bamboozled.
瑞秋葛林 我们来玩晕头转向

How do you test the temperature of the baby's bathwater?
你该如何测试 宝宝洗澡水的温度?

- Uh, put your elbow in it. - Excellent.
- 用手肘去试 - 非常好

- How do you put a baby down for a nap? - Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
- 如何让宝宝小睡- 下? - 喂饱她、换干尿布、趴睡、被子盖紧

That's correct.
答对了

This is an audio question. What do you do when a baby makes this sound:
这题是声音题 宝宝发出这种声音时你该怎么办?

Uh, check if it's wet, check if it's hungry, burp it.
检查她是尿湿或饿了 帮她拍背

Excellent. Now, do you want another question or a Wicked Wango Card?
太棒了 你要再回答一题 或抽魔法机会牌?

- A card. A card. I pick a card. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- 我要抽牌 - 对不起

You've been Bamboozled. You're gonna be a terrible mother.
你出局了 你会是个烂妈妈

I've lost sight of why we're doing this.
我忽略我们这样做的目的了

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