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老友记/六人行/Friends 第五季 第十四集 S05E14 The One Where Everybody Finds Out / 恍然大悟

老友记/六人行/Friends 第五季 第十四集 S05E14 The One Where Everybody Finds Out / 恍然大悟

When Phoebe finds out about Monica and Chandler, she and Rachel start messing with them and attempt to get them to confess their relationship. 菲比看莫妮卡和钱德的事了,她和瑞秋开始了他们,试图让他们承认他们的关系。

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英汉双语对照剧本

PHOEBE: Oh, hey, you guys, look. Ugly Naked Guy's putting stuff in boxes.
你们看 丑裸男在收拾东西

Huh. I'd say from the looks of it, our naked buddy is moving.
看样子我们的裸友要搬家了

Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled "Clothes."
讽刺的是大部分的箱子 都标示着"衣服"

Aw, I'm going to miss that big old squishy butt.
我会怀念那个大屁股的

And we're done with the chicken fried rice.
鸡肉炒饭吃不下了

Hey. Hey, if he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place.
嘿 如果他要搬走 我可以去把那里租下来

PHOEBE: Oh, yeah. JOEY: Good idea.
对啊 好主意

It would be so cool to live across from you guys.
跟你们遥遥相对多好玩啊

Yeah, hey, then we could do that telephone thing...
那我们就可以玩电话游戏

...you know, where you have a can, we have a can...
你一个罐子、我们一个罐子

...and it's connected by a string.
中问有一条线

Or we could do the actual telephone thing.
或者我们也可以打真的电话

Oh, my God. I love this apartment.
天哪 我爱死这间公寓了

Isn't it perfect?
很完美吧?

I can't believe I never realized how great it is.
我居然没发现这里有这么棒

That is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
因为你的目光会马上移到丑裸男身上

PHOEBE: It's amazing.
太棒了

You better hurry up and fill out an application, or I'll beat you to it.
你最好赶快去申请 否则我会抢先

Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom.
没想到会有这一天 我要去用丑裸男的厕所了

Oh, look. There's Monica and Chandler. Hey!
你看 是摩妮卡和钱德 喂

Hey, you guys! Hey!
喂 你们好 喂

Aah! Chandler and Monica. Chandler and Monica.
钱德和摩妮卡 !钱德和摩妮卡

Oh, my God.
天哪

- Chandler and Monica! - Oh, my God!
钱德和摩妮卡! 天哪!

Oh, my eyes! My eyes!
我要瞎了!我要瞎了

- Phoebe. Phoebe. - Ow!
菲比 菲比

It's okay. It's okay.
没事的

- No, they're doing it! - I know.
不!他们搞在起 我知道

- I know. I know. - You know?
我知道 你知道?

Yes, I know, and Joey knows, but Ross doesn't...
对 我知道 乔伊也知道 但罗斯不知道

...so you have to stop screaming!
所以你别再叫了

Hey, what's going on?
怎么了?

- What? RACHEL: Nothing.
怎么了? 没事

Oh, God, we're just so excited that you might get this apartment.
我们只是好兴奋你要搬来这里

- Actually, it looks really good. - Aah! It looks pretty good!
这袒的确很棒 很棒

Get in here! Come on!
快过来啊

You mean whenever Monica and Chandler were, like...
你是说每次摩妮卡和钱德…

...doing laundry or going grocery shopping?
去洗衣服或买东西?

All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp?
她每次跟伤心的琳达讲电话?

Uh-huh. Doing it, doing it, phone doing it.
嘿咻、嘿咻、色情电话

I can't believe it.
真不敢相信

I mean, I think it's great. For him.
真是太好了…对男方来说

She might be able to do better.
女方可以有更好的对象

- Hey, you guys. - Joey, come here. Come here.
你们好 乔伊 快过来

Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler.
菲比发现摩妮卡和钱德的事了

You mean how they're friends and nothing more?
就是他们是朋友 如此而已?

No. No, Joey, she knows.
不 乔伊 她知道了

We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and saw them doing it through the window.
我们刚才在丑裸男的公寓 看到他们隔着窗户在做

Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
应该说是靠着窗户在做

Okay, so now they know you know, and they don't know Rachel knows?
他们知道你知道 但是不知道瑞秋知道?

Yes, but you know what? It doesn't matter who knows what.
对 但现在这些都不重要了

Now enough of us know that we could just tell them we know.
我们有三个人知道 就可以告诉他们了

Now all the lying and the secrets will finally be over.
我再也不必说谎保密了

Or we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
或者我们也可以不告诉他们 自己来找点乐子

Well, what do you mean?
什么意思?

You know, every time they say they're doing laundry...
譬如每次他们说要洗衣服

...we'll give them laundry to do.
我们就给他们一堆衣服洗

- Oh, I would enjoy that. - No, no, no.
我喜欢 不…

Wait, Rach, you know what would be even more fun? Telling them.
你知道怎样更好玩? 告诉他们

- Yeah, no, I want to do Phoebe's thing. - I can't take any...
不 我想照菲比的做法 我没办法再…

You don't have to do anything. Just don't tell them that we know.
你只要别说我们知道就行了

No. I can't take any more secrets.
不要 我没办法再保密了

I got your secrets, I got their secrets. I got secrets of my own, you know.
我有你们的秘密、他们的秘密 还有我自己的秘密

- You don't have any secrets. - Oh, yeah?
你才没有秘密 是吗?

Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal.
你就不知道 我有个企鹅抱枕叫抱宝

So, ahem, um...
所以…

How are we going to mess with them?
我们要怎么耍他们?

Well, you could use your position as the roommate.
你可以利用室友的身分

And then I would use, you know, the strongest tool at my disposal.
我就运用我最大的本钱

My sexuality.
我的性成

- Hello, children. ALL: Hey.
孩子们 嘿

Okay. Watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie.
仔细看、学着点 别吃我的饼干

- Hey. - Hey.
嘿 嘿

Ooh. Wow, that jacket looks great on you.
你穿这件外套真好看

- Really? - Yeah. The material looks so soft.
是吗? 对 这个料子模起来好软

Oh, hello, Mr. Bicep.
你好啊 二头肌先生

You've been working out?
你有在健身吗?

Well, I try to, you know, squeeze things.
我有在挤牙膏

Are you okay?
你还好吗?

Well, if you really wanna know...
如果你真的想知道…

Oh, I can't tell you this.
我不能告诉你

Phoebe, it's me, you can tell me anything.
菲比 你什么都可以告诉我

Well, actually, you're the one person I can't tell this to.
事实上我就是不能告诉你

And the one person I want to the most.
但我又最想告诉你

What's going on?
怎么了?

I think it's just, you know, that I haven't been with a guy in so long...
因为我很久没跟男人在一起了

...and you know how sometimes you're looking for something...
有时你一直寻寻觅觅

...and you don't see that it's right there in front of you, sipping coffee...
却没发现他就在你眼前喝咖啡

Oh, no. Have I said too much?
我说太多了吗?

Well, just something to think about. I know I will.
总之你考虑一下 我就会考虑

- You are so cute. - Heh.
你好可爱

How did you get to be so cute?
你怎么会这么可爱?

Well, my grandfather was Swedish.
我爷爷是瑞典人

And my grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.
我奶奶其实是只拇指兔

Okay, now you're even cuter.
你变得更可爱了

You know, that is a popular opinion today, I must say.
这简直是今天的民意

What?
什么?

The weirdest thing happened at the coffeehouse.
今天在咖啡厅发生了件怪事

I think Phoebe was hitting on me.
我觉得菲比在钓我

What are you talking about?
你在说什么?

I'm telling you, I think Phoebe thinks I'm foxy.
是真的 菲比觉得我很有魅力

- It's not possible. - Ow.
不可能

I'm sorry, it's just Phoebe's just always thought you were charming...
抱歉 只是在菲比眼中

...in a sexless kind of way.
你的迷人是无性的

Oh, well, you know, I can't hear that enough.
这种话真是百听不厌

I'm sorry, I just think you misunderstood her.
抱歉 你应该误解她的意思了

No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me.
我没有误解 好吗? 她只差没扑上来

She touched my bicep, for crying out loud.
她还模我的二头肌呢

This bicep?
这块二头肌?

Well, it's not flexed right now.
是我现在没挤它

Hey, Mon, what are you doing? Want to come see a movie with us?
摩妮卡 你要干什么? 要不要一起去看电影?

Uh, actually, I was going to do some laundry.
事实上我正要去洗衣服

- Chandler, you want to do it with me? - Sure, I'll do it with you.
钱德 要不要起去? 好啊 我跟你起去

Okay, great. Hold on a second.
太好了 等一下

Unh. Here you go.
拿去

You don't mind, do you? That would really help me out a lot. Thanks.
不介意吧?这样我就轻松多了

Ha, ha. You know what? I don't think I have enough quarters.
我的硬币应该不够

PHOEBE: Oh, I have quarters.
我这里有

- Hey. - Hey, Ross, any word on the apartment yet?
嘿 罗斯 公寓申请得怎样?

Well, I called over there, and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself.
我打过去问 原来丑裸男要自己转租

And he's already had like 100 applicants.
而且已经有一大堆申请者

ALL: Oh. - No, no, I've got the edge.
总之差别是我占了优势

I know it's not exactly ethical, but I sent him a bribe...
我知道这样有点奸诈 但我送了点东西…

...to tip the scales in my direction.
去贿赂他

Yeah. Check it out, you can see it from the window.
从窗户搞不好看得到

Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
是那个打了蝴蝶结的弹珠台吗?

No.
不是

That new mountain bike?
那辆新的登山车?

No.
不是

Well, what did you send?
那你送什么?

A basket of mini muffins.
一篮小英式松饼

There's a whole table of mini muffin baskets.
但桌上全都是小英式松饼

Which one did you send?
哪一篮是你送的?

The small one.
小的那一篮

What? You actually thought that basket was gonna get you the apartment?
什么?你真以为那篮松饼 能帮你争取到公寓?

Well, yeah.


Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those muffins.
我们办公室曾经收到一篮 大家都爱得不得了

It was the best day.
那天真的很高兴

Your work makes me sad.
你的工作让我觉得好悲惨

Oh, man, I want that place so much.
真是的 我好想要那问公寓

And I was so sure that was going to work.
我还以为一定会成功

There's 12 bucks I'll never see again.
那12块算是丢到水里了

All right, we'd better go if we're gonna catch that movie.
好了 想看电影就得快了

- Bye. - Bye.
再见 再见

Bye, Chandler. I miss you already.
钱德再见 我已经开始想你了

Okay, did you see that? With the inappropriate, and the pinching?
你看到她唠哩唠气还捏我吗?

Actually, I did.
我看到了

So now do you believe that she's attracted to me?
你相信她对我有意思了吧?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She knows about us.
天哪… 她知道我们的事了

Are you serious?
真的还假的?

Phoebe knows, and she's just trying to freak us out.
菲比知道了 她想吓我们

That's the only explanation for it.
这是唯一的解释

Okay, but what about my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps?
那我好捏的屁股 和激凸的二头肌呢?

She knows.
她知道了

Joey.
乔伊

Yeah?
怎样?

Phoebe knows about us.
菲比知道我们的事了

Well, I didn't tell them.
我没告诉她们

Them? Who's "them"?
她们?她们是谁?

Uh, Phoebe and Joey.
菲比和乔伊

Joey.
乔伊

And Rachel.
和瑞秋

Look, I would have told you, but they made me promise not to tell.
我想告诉你们 但她们逼我不能说

- Oh, man. - I'm sorry.
天哪 对不起

But, hey, it's over now, right?
那现在没事了吧?

Because you can tell them you know they know...
你们可以告诉她们你们知道了

...and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing.
我就可以恢后我状况外的本色

- Unless... - No, not "unless." This must end now.
除非… 没有除非 现在就要了结

Oh, man, they think they are so slick messing with us.
她们还自以为高明

But they don't know that we know that they know.
她们不知道我们知道她们知道

- So... - Ah, yes.
所以没错

The messers become the messees.
耍人的变成被耍的

Oh, Ross, honey, you gotta stop torturing yourself.
罗斯 别再折磨自己了

Why don't you just find another apartment?
你去找别的公寓嘛

I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month.
我这个月已经看了上千间公寓

None of them even compares to that one.
没有一间比得上那一间

You know what you should do?
你知道你应该怎么做?

You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him.
你应该找出他的嗜好 拿来跟他套交情

Yeah. Like if I wanted something from Joey...
例如我对乔伊有所求

...I would strike up a conversation about, say, um, sandwiches...
我就会聊…三明治

...or, uh, my underwear.
或是我的内衣

I'm listening.
我在听

See?
看吧

That is a great idea.
好棒的主意

And I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for five years.
而且我了解丑裸男 因为我们偷窥了他5年

So that gives me back my edge. Ha, ha.
所以我又重新占了上风

Let's see now. He had the trampoline.
好 他有一张跳床

- But he broke that. - Well, he had gravity boots.
被他跳坏了 他有双倒吊鞋

Yeah, he broke those too.
也被他穿坏了

So he likes to break stuff.
所以他喜欢破坏东西

Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben, but I will figure something out.
好 我得去接小班 不过我会想出来的

Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?
他之前不是有一只猫?

I wouldn't bring that up. It would probably just bum him out.
别提那个 会害他心情不好

Poor cat never saw that big butt coming.
可怜的猫味 没看到大屁股压下来

Hello?
喂?

Oh, yeah, hey. Hold on a second, she's right here.
在 等一下 她就在旁边

It's Chandler.
钱德找你

Hello, you.
你好

Hello, Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day.
菲比 我一整天都在想你

Well, you know that thing you said before? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.
你之前的提议 说我不心动是骗人的

Really?Yeah. Listen, Joey won't be here tonight.
是吗? 对 乔伊晚上不在

Why don't you come over and I'll let you, uh, feel my bicep.
你要不要过来 我让你模我的二头肌

Or maybe more.
甚至是别的地方

I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye.
我待会再给你答覆 再见

Oh, my God. He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more.
天哪 他找我去模他的二头肌 和别的地方

- Are you kidding? - No.
不会吧? 是真的

I cannot believe he would do that to Mon...
他居然背着摩妮卡…

Joey? Do they know that we know?
乔伊 他们知道我们知道吗?

- No. - Joey?
不知道 乔伊

- They know you know. - Ooh, I knew it.
他们知道你们知道了 我就知道

Oh, I cannot believe those two.
那两个人真扯

They thought they could mess with us? They're trying to mess with us?
他们以为他们可以耍我们 想耍我们是吧?

They don't know that we know they know we know.
他们不知道我们知道 他们知道我们知道了

And, Joey, you can't say anything.
乔伊 你不能说

Couldn't if I wanted to.
我也不想说了

Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller.
你好 我是罗斯盖勒

I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment...
我也申请要租你的公寓

...and I realize that the competition is fierce, but...
我知道竞争很激烈 但是…

I'm sorry, I can't help but notice that you're naked and...
抱歉 我注意到你光着身体

I applaud you.
我为你鼓掌

Man, I wish I was naked.
我也好想光着身体

I mean, this looks so great.
看起来好舒服

That is how God intended it.
这正是上帝造人的本意

- Look at them. They're panicked. - Oh, yeah, they're totally gonna back down.
你看她们多慌 她们绝对会退缩

Oh, yeah.
没错

All right, if he wants a date, he's going to get a date.
好 他敢约我就敢去

- I'm going to go in. - Okay, okay.
我要过去了 好

Be sexy.
性感一点

Please.
拜托

So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight.
钱德 我晚上可以过去

Really?
真的?

Oh absolutely. Shall we say, around seven?
当然 就7点吧?

Yes


Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
很好 我很期待跟你发生性关系

Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!
快来看 丑裸男有裸友来访

Oh yeah! (
真的

Oh my God! That is our friend!
天哪 那是我们的朋友

It's Naked Ross!Yeah, it is! Naked Ross!!
是裸罗斯 是罗斯

Show time!
上场喽

Okay, Rachel, get me perfume!
瑞秋 拿香水来

And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses?
乔伊 帮我拿一瓶酒和两个酒杯

All right, it'll be great!
放心好了

You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
只要让她以为你想跟她上床 她绝对会吓到

Okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her?
我到底得撑到什么程度?

Relax, she-she's gonna give in way before you do!
别紧张 她会比你先投降

How do you know?!Because you're on my team!
你怎么知道? 因为你跟我同队

And my team always wins!
我这一队总是赢

At this?!
赢这种事?

Just go get some! Go!
总之去吓她 快去

Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
好 我会站在门外听

Okay? Whoa, wait!
好 等下

Good idea!
好主意 等等

Oh now, don't give away the farm!
别把料都爆光了 好

Phoebe.
菲比

Chandler.Come on in.
钱德 进来吧

I was going too.
我正要进去

Umm, I brought some wine. Would you like some?
我带了酒来 你要吗?

Sure.
好啊

So, here we are. Nervous?
总算要开始了 紧张吗?

Me? No. You?
我?不会 你呢?

No, I want this to happen.
不会 这样正合我意

So do I.
我也是

I'm gonna put on some music.
我去放点音乐

Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you.
那我…我跳舞给你看好了

You look good.
你真美

Thanks!
谢谢

Y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me
你说这种话让我好想…

wanna rip that sweater vest right off!
扯掉你的毛衣背心

Well, why don't we move this into the bedroom?
不如进房里再说吧?

Really?Oh, do you not want to?
真的吗? 你不想吗?

No. No!
不是

It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes
只是我想先脱掉衣服

and have you rub lotion on me.
让你替我擦乳液

Well that would be nice.
听起来不错

I'll go get the lotion.
我去拿乳液

Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
情况完全失控了 她要我帮她擦乳液

She's bluffing!Look, she's not backing down!
她在唬你 她没打算放弃

She went like this!
她还这样

He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
他没打算放弃 他去拿乳液了

Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?!
真是的 你们还没好吗?

I wanna sit in my chair!
我想坐我的椅子

Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler
乔伊 菲比一突破钱德的心防

the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
这一切就结束公开了

I like that!
我喜欢

Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em!
我知道 让他看你的胸罩 他怕胸罩 他解不开

Joey!
乔伊

Wow, you didn't rip off any buttons.
你没把扣子都挑开

It's not my first time.
老经验了

You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
你给我回去 色诱她让她屈服

Okay, give me a second!
好 等一下

Did you clean up in here?Of course.
你打扫过吗? 当然罗

Oh, you're-you're going?
你…要走了?

Umm, not without you, lover
除非你跟我走 爱人

So, this is my bra.
这是我的胸罩

It's very, very nice.
很好看

Well, come here.
过来

I'm very happy we were gonna be having all the sex.
我很高兴我们要做爱了

You should be. I'm very bendy.
你是该高兴 我的身体很柔软

I'm gonna kiss you now.Not if I kiss you first.
我要吻你了 除非我先吻你

Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
接下来就只能接吻了

Here it comes.
终于来了

Our first kiss.
我们的初吻

Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!!
好…你赢了

I can't have sex with ya!
我不能跟你上床

And why not?!Because I'm in love with Monica!!
为什么? 因为我爱摩妮卡

You're-you're what?!
你什么?

Love her! That's right, I... LOVE... HER!!!
爱她 没错 我爱她

I love her!!
我爱她

I love you, Monica.
我爱你 摩妮卡

I love you too Chandler.
我也爱你 钱德

I just- I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
我以为你们只是搞在一起 我不知道你们相爱

Dude!
兄弟

And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor.
向菲比致敬 强劲的对手

And might I say your breasts are still showing.
此外你的胸部还晾在外面

God!
天哪

All right! So that's it!
好耶 就这样

It's over! Everybody knows!
结束了 大家都知道了

Well actually, Ross doesn't.
罗斯还不知道

Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
对 请你们先别告诉他

A new place for a new Ross.
就是这里 新罗斯的新家

I'm gonna have you and all the guys from work over
我一布置好…

once it's y'know, furnished.
就请你和同事来坐

I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.
很高兴看到你重新振作

Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
我是振作了 脾气暴躁的事都过去了

I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?
你是不是该回馆里上班了?

Oh Donald that-that would be great.
唐诺 那就太好了

I am totally ready to come back to work.
我已经准备好重回岗位 我…

No! Wh...
什么?不

What are you doing?!!
你在干什么?

GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
放开我妹妹

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