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老友记/六人行/Friends 第五季 第十三集 S05E13 The One with Joey

老友记/六人行/Friends 第五季 第十三集 S05E13 The One with Joey's Bag / 乔伊背包包

Phoebe's grandmother dies, and is shocked when her father turns up at the funeral. Meanwhile, Rachel gives Joey a "man's bag" for an audition, and Chandler is scared to tell Monica he doesn't like her massages. 菲比的祖母死了,是震惊,当她的父亲出现在葬礼上。同时,瑞秋给乔伊“面试人的袋”,和钱德害怕告诉摩妮卡他不喜欢她按摩。

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英汉双语对照剧本

Ah, I can't believe we've never done this. It's so good!
我们居然没试过 真舒服

It's so good for Monica.
摩妮卡好舒服

Time's up! My turn.
时间到 该我了

- That was half an hour? - It's your timer.
已经半小时了? 计时器是你的

CHANDLER: Okay. MONICA: All right.
好 好吧

I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages.
我不想自夸 但我最会按摩了

All right, then massage me up right nice!
那就给我按下去吧

It's so good, isn't it?
很舒服吧?

It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
舒服到我觉得我无福消受

Say goodbye to sore muscles!
跟瘦痛肌肉说再见吧

Goodbye, muscles!
肌肉再见

She gives the worst massages ever.
她的按摩技术烂到不行

It was like she was torturing me for information.
感觉就像她在拷问我

I wanted to give it up. I just didn't know what it was!
我很想招 又不知道要招什么

If it hurts that bad, you should tell her.
要是真的很痛 你应该告诉她

For the first time in my life, I'm in a real relationship.
我这辈子第一次这么认真

I won't screw that up by telling the truth.
我才不要因为说实话而搞砸

Dude, look out!
小心

You almost crushed my hat.
你差点踩扁我的帽子

Sorry.
对不起

And the bunny got away.
兔子跑走了

This would be the place where you explain the hat.
你该解释这顶帽子的事了

There's this play, right?
对 现在有一出舞台剧

I'm up for the part of this cool,
我要去应征一个…

suave, international guy.
很高档的角色

A clothes horse, so I figure...
他很会穿衣服 所以我想说…

..everyone at the audition
去试镜的人…

is gonna be wearing wear ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
一定都会穿得很时尚

And you'll make them disappear?
你要把他们都变不见?

Like you could find something this sophisticated.
有什么比这顶帽子更有品味?

Done!
搞定

If you want to look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
乔伊 你可以来找我选衣服

- Thanks! RACHEL: Sure.
谢谢 不客气

God, please take those off!
拜托快拿掉

ROSS: Hey, Pheebs. How's it going?
菲比 今天好吗?

Um, only okay. Because I just got back from the hospital.
还好而已 因为我刚去过医院

ALL: Are you all right?
你还好吗?

I'm fine. But, uh, my grandma sort of died.
我很好 但是我外婆死了

ALL: Pheebs, sorry. PHOEBE: It's okay.
菲比 真抱歉 没关系

She had a really incredible life.
她这一生过得很精彩

It's not like I won't see her again. y'know she's gonna visit.
我也不是永远见不到她 她会来找我

Maybe she's with us right now.
也许她现在就在这里?

Right. She's on a new spiritual plane and she'll come to the coffeehouse.
是啊 第一天进入新世界 结果跑来咖啡馆

I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside!
外面车上有两个人在嘿咻

Uh, Pheebs' grandmother just died.
菲比的外婆刚过世

Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
天哪 对不起

Actually, it's kind of cool. Because it's like...
没关系 其实这样还蛮酷的

...you know, one life ends and another begins.
一个生命结束 另一个生命诞生

Not the way they're doing it.
他们的做法很难

What happened? How did she die?
怎么回事?她是怎么过世的?

We were in the market...
我们在超市

...and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
她弯腰去拿优格 就再也没起来过

I'm so sorry.
真令人遗憾

The last thing she said to me was:
她最后说的话倒很窝心

"Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter"
〝你去拿蛋 我拿优格 我们在出口见〞

You know what?
你们知道吗?

We will meet at the checkout counter.
我们绝对会在人生的出口见

Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff.
衣服得归还

right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
所以你得穿内裤

All right. You'd better show me some of that too then..
好 那你还得拿内裤给我

It's missing something.
还少了点什么

Oh, I know. Um, okay.
我知道了 好

Really? A purse?
皮包喔?

It's not a purse. It's a shoulder bag.
这不是皮包 是手提包

- It looks like a woman's purse. - No.
很像女人的皮包 不

Trust me, all the men are carrying them in the spring catalog.
相信我 春季型录上的男模都在背

See, look. Men carrying the bag.
你看 男人背包包

See, look. Women carrying the bag.
你看 女人背包包

But it is odd how a woman's purse looks so good on me, a man.
我一个男人背女用皮包 居然很帅

Exactly. Unisex!
没错 男女通用

Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
你或许需要 我2天前刚做过

No, Joey. U-N-I sex.
不 我是说男女通用

I ain't going to say no to that!
我绝对不会拒绝

Who is it? - It's Phoebe.
哪位? 菲比

URSULA: Oh, great!
太好了

Oh, you.
原来是你

Um, what's up?
有什么事?

Um, well, I sort of have some bad news. Can I come in?
有个坏消息 我可以进去吗?

Um, no, thanks.
还是不要好了

- Well, um, Grandma died today. - Wow!
这个嘛 外婆今天死了

Didn't she die like five years ago?
她不是5年前就死了?

No, she just died today.
不是 她今天刚死

Um, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
明天要举行告别式

Okay, I know I went to that already.
我参加过她的告别式了

No, you didn't!
你才没有

Then who's been dead?
那是谁死了5年?

Lots of people!
很多人

Look, are you coming or not?
你到底要不要来?

Um, no.
不要

See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it.
我以为她已经死了 我已经接受这件事了

Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow.
而且我明天要听演唱会

I'd invite you, but, um, I only have two tickets left.
我也想找你 但我只剩两张票

- Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. - Thanks. Enjoy your funeral!
好 你慢慢听 谢了 你慢慢告别

- Hey. - Hey.
嘿 嘿

You look just like your son, Mrs. Tribbiani.
崔比亚尼伯母 你长得真像你的儿子

What? Are you referring to my man's bag?
什么?你在说我的男用包包?

At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out!
我原以为它只中看 结果它也很中用 你们看

It's got compartments for all your stuff.
各种夹层都有

- Your wallet, keys, address book... - Your makeup.
放皮夹的、放钥匙的、放电话簿的 放化妆品的

Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
乔伊 你怎么背着包包? 你明天才试镜

Yeah, but sandwich time is right now.
但现在是三明治时间

Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
要是沾到芥末就不能还了

Why would I return this? I love this bag!
干嘛要还?我爱这个包包

- All right, then you owe me $350. JOEY: Fine.
好 那你欠我350 好

Do you take Vasa or Mooster Card?
你收VASA或事达卡吗

Joey...
乔伊

All right relax
别紧张啦

look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
你帮我拿到这个角色 到时领了钱就给你

What's the part? Auntie Mame?
什么角色 老姨妈?

Don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
别理他们 我觉得很性感

You-and-I sexy?
你加我的性感?

Hello, Mrs. Pinilla. Thank you so much for coming!
潘奈拉太太 谢谢你来

Here's your, um, 3-D glasses.
这是你的3D眼镜

Reverend Pong will say when to put them on.
要戴时彭牧师会说

Hi, sweetie.


- How are you holding up? PHOEBE: Fine.
你还好吗? 还好

Hey, Pheebs. I'm so sorry.
菲比 节哀顺变

You know what? My grandma had the exact same bag!
我外婆有个一模一样的包包

I brought you flowers.
我带了花来

Oh, thanks!
谢谢

Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
这样感觉有男人味多了

Excuse me, is this the, uh, memorial?
请问告别式是在这里吗?

Welcome.
欢迎

Here's your 3-D glasses.
这是你的3D眼镜

All right.


So how did you know Frances?
你是怎么认识法兰西丝的?

Actually, I hadn't seen her for years.
我们多年不见

But, um, I was pretty tight with her and her daughter.
我以前跟她和她的女儿很亲

Really?!What's your name?
是吗?尊姓大名?

Frank Buffay.
法兰克布非

Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe.
更正 其实我叫…乔

Um, uh, Joe, uh, Hill.
乔希尔

- You're Frank Buf... - Shh. No! Joe Hill.
你是法兰克布非? 不是 乔希尔

You just said...
你刚才说…

I got to go. Thank you so much for coming.
我该走了 谢谢你来

PHOEBE: But...
但是…

Oh, my God!
我的天哪

ALL: What happened?
怎么了?

That was my dad.
那是我爸

ALL: Oh, my God! What? - Check it out!
天哪 你们看

It's like it's coming right at me.
我的手好像正朝着我来

- Did you catch him? ROSS: What did he say?
追到他了吗? 他怎么说?

He said, um, "Nice to meet you, Glenda."
他说〝很高兴认识你 葛兰达〞

Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
我当然不能说出真名

Why not?
为什么?

Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here!
你们也看到他走得像飞了

What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
难不成他会留下来 跟他抛弃的女儿聊天?

What did you say to him?
那你怎么说?

Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
我自称法兰西丝的遗嘱执行人 有事找他谈

I'm going to meet him at the coffeehouse.
我们待会约在咖啡馆

REVEREND: Could everyone take their seats?
请各位就座

I just can't think about that now.
我现在没办法想这个

- I want to say goodbye to my grandma. ALL: Okay.
我只想跟我外婆道别 好

Let's go say goodbye.
走吧

I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
我要去面试了 怎么样?

I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
师呆了 那个包包会让你被选上

And a date with a man.
还能钓到男人

You know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag.
随你怎么取笑我 这个包包很棒

And it's as handy as it is becoming.
而且是好看又好用

Just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong.
你们不懂不代表是错的

So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey
以后你们都得习惯有乔伊…

...comes with a bag!
就有包包

All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
我也该走了 我得去见我爸

Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
你会表明你的身份吗?

Not at first. I don't want to freak him out.
先不会 我不想吓跑他

But aren't you pissed at him?
但是你不气他吗?

This guy abandoned you.
这家伙遗弃了你

I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger!
如果是我 他就等着挨揍吧

I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad!!
我会走进去说〝喂 老爸

You and me, outside. Right now!"
我们现在就出去解决〞

I kinda scared myself.
我都吓到自己了

Well, at least you scared someone.
那起码有吓到人

Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry.
说也奇怪 我应该很生气

I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off.
我应该很想扭断他那颗头

Fortunately, I'm past it.
幸好我已经释怀了

You do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
你看起来的确有点紧绷 我帮你捏捏

Oh, get off! Ow!
放闲我!

Stop it! Why are you doing that to me?
住手!你为什么这样整我?

What are you talking about?
你在说什么?

As a masseuse and a human...
身为一个按摩师和一个人类

...I'm begging you, never do that to anyone.
我恳求你永远别帮别人按摩

I give good massages.
我很会按摩啊

I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic!
我以前都帮瑞秋按摩 是她后来会过敏

And Chandler, he loves them! Watch.
钱德也很喜欢 你看

He does not like it. He's in pain!
他才不喜欢 他痛得快要死了

- No, he's not. - Yes, he is!
他才没有 他有

- What? - I'm sorry but, ow!
什么? 对不起 但是…

You've been lying to me?
你一直在骗我?

I can't believe you'd do that.
我真不敢相信

Well, maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings..
也许他只是不希望你难过

But the minute we start to lie to each other...
但我们一旦开始欺骗对方…

And by "we"...
我说的〝我们〞

...I mean society.
指的是社会

Anytime you're ready.
你好了就开始

Ahem, well, you must be new here.
你一定是新来的

Maybe we get a table, I buy you a drink.
我们找张桌子 我请你喝一杯

Could you try it without the purse?
抱歉 你能不能不要背皮包?

Yeah, sure.
当然可以

Ahem, well, you must be new here. Maybe we sit...
你一定是新来的 我们找张…

- Can I ask you something? - Sure. What?
我可以问件事吗? 可以 什么事?

Well, first, it's not a purse.
第一 这不是皮包

Okay...


Anytime.
再来

If you think it's a woman's bag, it's not.
别以为这是女用皮包

It's a man's bag.
这是男用提包

Okay. And go.
好的 继续吧

Let me show you the catalog.
我拿型录给你看

Look. See?
你看

Huh? It's the latest thing.
这是最新流行

Everyone's got one. Men, women, children. Everyone's carrying them!
每个人都有 男人、女人、小孩都在背

Do you sell these bags?
你在推销这些包包吗?

No, these babies sell themselves.
不是 这些包包摆着就能卖

Thank you. That was great.
好 谢谢 你表现得很好

But I didn't read anything.
我什么都还没念

I think we've seen enough.
我想这样就够了

All right, I'll see you.
那好 再见

We got it. We got it.
搞定了 搞定了

- Is Rachel here? - No.
瑞秋在吗? 不在

Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing.
听我说 我想为下午和按摩的事道歉

I really like them.
我很喜欢你的按摩

Please stop.
别再硬撑了

we're supposed to be honest with each other
我们应该坦诚相对

I- I just wish you could tell me-just say, "I don't like your massages."
我只希望你能明白告诉我 〝我不喜欢你的按摩〞

I don't like your massages.
我不喜欢你的按摩

See? It's no big deal.
看吧 又没什么

But now you're crying.
但是你哭了

I'm not crying about that. I'm crying about something at work.
我不是在哭这个 我是在哭工作的事

My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.
我男朋友说他不喜欢我的按摩

You don't have to be best at everything.
你又不必事事都抢第一

Oh, my God! You don't know me at all!
天哪 你一点也不了解我

Okay...


You give the worst massages in the world.
你的按摩技术天下第一烂

I'm crying here!
我在哭耶

Look, hear me out.
听我说完

You give the best bad massages.
比烂的话你最棒

If anybody was looking for the best bad massage...
如果有人在找最棒的烂按摩

and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?"
他们自问 〝谁的技术最棒?〞

They'd have to go to you.
那绝对非你莫属

So you're saying that if there was an award...
你的意思是 如果有最佳…

...for the best bad massage... Who would get that?
烂按摩技术奖 那谁会得奖?

It would be you!
一定是你

You, Monica! And you'd get all the votes.
你 摩妮卡 你会大获全胜

So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?
或许这个奖可以叫摩妮卡奖?

Absolutely.
一定会的

Okay...


I suck!
我烂透了

Thank you for meeting with me.
谢谢你来见我

Thank you.
谢谢

Come sit.
这边坐

Sit.
坐啊

Sit!


Um, alrighty. Um, before we get started, I need you...
好的 在开始之前 你必须…

...to state for the official record that you are, in fact, Frank Buffay.
郑重声明 你其实是法兰克布非

Yes, I am. Mm-hm.
是的 我是

- Okay. - So, what did Frances leave me?
好 法兰西丝留给我什么?

- Huh? - That's why you wanted me to come.
这是你找我来的原因吧?

Oh, yes.
是的

Yes, she did. She left you, um...
的确有 她留给你…

...this lipstick.
这支口红

Oh, it's, ew, used.
这真是…这是用过的

Uh, cool.


I have just a few questions to ask, so I'll get out my official forms.
好 我要请教几个问题 我把相关表格拿出来

So question one:
好 第一个问题

You were married to Frances' daughter, Lilly. is that correct?
你娶了法兰西丝的女儿莉莉 正不正确?

Yes, I was.
对 没错

Okay, um, question two: Um, did that marriage end...
好 第二个问题 这段婚姻…

...A, happily...
一 很美满

...B, medium...
二 普通

...or, C, in the total abandonment...
或是三 你最后…

...of her and her two children?
抛妻弃子

It really says that?
表上真的这么写?

Yeah, see?
对 你看

I guess then I would have to say C.
那我就得选三了

Total abandonment.
抛妻弃子

Reasons for abandonment:
抛弃的原因

Um, A, top secret government work...
一 极机密政府工作

...B, amnesia...
二 失忆症

...or, C, you're just a selfish, irresponsible...
或是三 你就是个自私不负责的…

...bad, bad man.
大坏蛋

Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much.
其实我没那么想要这支口红

Would you do me a favor?
请你帮个忙

Would you give Lilly...
把这个…

...that, please? - What?
交给莉莉 什么?

When you see Lilly, would you give her that, that note?
请把那张纸条交给她

Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but,
我本来想在告别式上找她谈

well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out.
但我觉得她也会像你这样发飘 就临阵退缩了

So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
我写了那张纸条 请帮我转交

But you came to see Lilly?
你想来找莉莉?

Yeah. Why?
对 怎么了?

Lilly's dead.
莉莉死了

She what?
什么?

She's dead.
她死了

Are you sure?
你确定?

If she isn't, cremating her was a big mistake.
没死就被火化就严重了

I can't believe this. I just can't believe...
我真不敢相信

How? Oh, my God.
怎么会?天哪

How long ago?
多久的事?

Seventeen years ago.
17年前

What about the girls?
那女孩们呢?

Well, Ursula is a waitress and she lives in Soho.
乌苏拉在当服务生 住在苏活

And Phoebe...
菲比…

...is on this couch.
就坐在这张沙发上

Yep, lipstick and a daughter. Big day for you.
没错 口红和女儿 真是黄道吉日

Phoebe, I, um...
菲比 我…

It's just, I don't know what to say.
我不知道该说什么

I just can't believe that you're my daughter. You're so pretty.
你居然是我的女儿 你长得这么漂亮

Yes, well, that's neither here nor there.
那个跟这个无关

Would it make you feel better if I said...
如果我说我很抱歉

...that I was very, very sorry I left?
你会不会好过一点?

Y'know what, it doesn't matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway,
你说什么都没差了

So you can just go.
所以你可以走了

Well, you know, in my defense, I was a lousy father.
我要辩解一下 我很不会当爸爸

- That's your defense? - Yes, it is.
这叫辩解? 没错

I burned the formula, and I put your diapers on backwards.
我把牛奶烧焦、把尿布包反

I made up a song to sing you to sleep,, but that made you cry even more.
我编了一首歌哄你睡觉 结果你哭得更厉害

You make up songs?
你会写歌?

Well, no, just that one. But it was stupid.
只有那一首 不过很白痴

Let's see, how did it go? Um...
我想想怎么唱…

Sleepy girl, sleepy girl
爱困妹 爱困妹

Why won't you go to sleep?
你为什么不睡觉?

Sleepy girl, sleepy girl
爱困妹 爱困妹

You're keeping me up
你害我不能睡觉

I'm not very good at this.
这种事我不太行

Well, I am.
我很行

Not yet. No.
现在还不行

Hey.


ALL: Hey! How'd the audition go?
嘿 结果如何?

Estelle said I didn't get it.
经纪人说没中

What? Why? Joey, you were so ready for it.
什么?怎么可能? 你准备得那么充分

I thought so too...
我也这么想

...but the casting people had problems with me.
但她说选角的人对我有意见

What kind of problem?
什么意见?

To tell you the truth...
老实说

...they had a problem with the bag! - Oh, my God!
他们不喜欢这个包包 天哪

You know what? It was a stupid play anyway.
反正也是出烂戏

It's time to give up the bag.
你该放弃这个包包了

I don't want to give up the bag.
我不想放弃它

I don't have to give it up, do I, Rach?
我不必放弃它 对吧瑞秋?

You think I should give up the bag!
你觉得我应该放弃

Joey, I'm sorry. As terrific as I think you are with it...
乔伊 对不起 我觉得你背起来很帅

...I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
但世人或许还没办法接受你们

I can't believe I'm hearing this!
你居然这么说

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a bag,
等等 我不是说你不该带包包

There are other bags that are maybe a little less...
但有其他争议性比较小的…

...controversial.
包包

Yeah, um, they're called wallets.
对 叫做皮夹

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