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老友记/六人行/Friends 第九季 第十七集 S09E17 The One with the Memorial Service / 葬礼

老友记/六人行/Friends 第九季 第十七集 S09E17 The One with the Memorial Service / 葬礼

When Chandler and Ross joke around on their college website, Ross is accused of being dead which leads to the fact that he was not popular in college. Joey is not willing to give his favorite stuffed animal, Hugsy, to Emma. Monica helps Phoebe not call Mike. 当钱德和罗斯开玩笑说自己的大学网站,罗斯被控死导致他在大学里不受欢迎。我不愿意给他最喜爱的毛绒动物,企鹅先生,艾玛。摩妮卡帮菲比不叫麦克。

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英汉双语对照剧本

- You ready to go? - Let me just finish this. - 嘿,你准备好要走了吗? - 让我先把这个完成 Hey, Ross. Check this out. 嘿,罗斯,瞧 Yeah, I can't do that. Heh. 我就是做不好 - What are you doing? - Have you seen this? - 你在做什么呢? - 你有看过这个吗? It's our new alumni website for college. 这是我们大学校友会的新网站 You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to. 你可以留言给大家 让大家知道你的近况 Oh, great. A faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless. 喔,太好了,一个更快速方式 去告诉大家,我失业又没小孩 It's actually interesting to find out what people are doing. 知道大家在做什么,真有趣 Remember Andrea Rich? 记得艾卓雅里奇吗? - Tall girl, wouldn't sleep with you? - Uh-huh. 不肯跟你上床的那个高掴子女生吗? Well, her Internet company went under, and she lost an ear in a boating accident. 她的网路公司倒了 而且在一次划船意外中失去一只耳朵 Bet she'd sleep with you now. 我敢说她现在一定会跟你上床了 No, I already e-mailed her. 才不,我已经寄电邮问过她了 Let me see what you wrote about yourself. 让我看看你是怎么写自己的 - Oh. - "Doctor of paleontology, two kids. " 〝古生物学博士,有两个小孩〞 Wait a second. You split with Carol because you had different interests? 等等,你跟卡萝分开的原因 是因为兴趣不同吗? I think you split with Carol because you had one very similar interest. 我认为你跟她分开的原因 是因为就是有相同的兴趣 You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, okay? Let me just grab my coat. 我等一下再写好了 让我拿一件外套 Okay. 好的 What, did you think you learned how to do it in the last two minutes? 怎样?你认为你花两分钟 就能学会吗? Maybe we finish this for him. 或许我们可以帮他完成 Also, I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. 同时,我在实验室里复制了一只恐龙 She is now my girlfriend. 她现在是我的女朋友了 I don't care what society says, it's the best sex I've ever had. 我不在乎社会的眼光 这是我们拥有最完美的性爱 - And send. - No, no- You can't do that to him. - 然后,寄出 - 不,你不可以这样 - All right, let's go. - Dude! - 好了,我们走 - 老兄! Uh, I think you made it clear you can't be trusted with the ball inside the house. 我想你很清楚的证明了 不能让你在室内抱着球 And send. 然后,寄出 Hey. How was basketball? 嘿,篮球好玩吗? It was fun. Right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye. 很好玩,一直玩到钱德的眼睛 被手指戳到 Oh, no. Who did that? 喔,天啊,是谁弄的? Chandler. Yeah. 钱德自己 H93'- 嘿! - Rash? Yeah? - 瑞秋 - 怎样? What's Huggsy doing in the crib with Emma? 哈吉为什么在艾玛的婴儿车里呢? She was just crawling around and she found him... 她在到处爬的时候抓到他 ...so I just let her sleep with him. 所以我就让她跟他一起睡 - That's all right, isn't it? - Of course. Yeah. - 没关系吧? - 当然,没关系 It's a stuffed animal, you know? It's for kids. Not for adults. 只是填充玩具,你知道的 是给小孩玩的,不是给大人的 I know that. 这点我知道 Joey, you're sure? I mean, I know how much you love him. 乔伊,你确定吗? 我知道你很爱他 Rachel, let's be clear on this, okay? I do not love Huggsy. 瑞秋,让我们说清楚好吗? 我没有爱哈吉 I like him a normal amount. 我只是以正常的程度喜欢他 All right. Well, Emma loves him. 好吧,但是艾玛爱死他了 Yeah. Well, why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person. 是啊,为何不呢? 他是那么的美好! - Hi. - Hey, Phoebe. How you doing? - 嗨 - 嘿,菲比,你还好吗? - You feeling better? - Breaking up sucks. - 你感觉好点了吗? - 分手真是难受 - Oh, I really miss Mike. - Oh, I'm so sorry. - 喔,我真的好想麦克 - 喔,真抱歉 I've tried everything to feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... 我已经试过所有疗伤法了 我甚至还尝试要写首歌 ...but I can't think of anything that rhymes with: 但是我不想出任何可以配这个调的… Hey, Monica, I'm gonna need your help getting through this. 嘿,摩妮卡 我需要你帮忙我度过这段时期 You're saying you're not gonna need my help? 你是说你不需要我帮忙吗? No. When I get to the point where I'm ready... 不,当我准备好要听… ...to hear cruel, mocking jokes about Mike, I'm gonna come to you. 挨死的麦克笑话时,我会来找你的 Oh, good, because I've already thought of three. Four! I just thought of a fourth. 很好,因为我已经想出三个了 四个!我刚冈j又想出第四个! Okay. I mean, I know I did the right thing. 好了,我知道我的决定是正确的 Mike never wants to get married... 麦克永远都不想要结婚 ...and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future. 而我也不应该经营一段没有未来的威情 But pretty soon, I'm gonna miss him so much... 但是很快的,我会很想念他 ...I'm gonna want to see him again, and you have to stop me. 我会想再见到他 你一定要阻止我 Okay, you got it. 好的,没问题 Unless... Am I being too crazy about this? 除非… 我是不是想太多了呢? All right, so, you know, there's no future. 好吧,就算没有未来又如何 But that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. 那不表示我们不能玩一玩阿 - You know what? Forget what I said. - Really? - 你知道吗?忘了我刚刚说的 - 真的吗? - All right, if that's what you want. - That was a test, and you just failed. - 好吧,如果你那样想的话 - 那是个测试,你没过关 Damn it! Rookie mistake. 该死的!新手失误! I have sex with dinosaurs? 我跟恐龙做爱? I believe I read that somewhere. 我确定我好像在哪看过耶 Not only is it not funny, it's physically impossible. Okay? 不只不好笑,而且根本不可能 好吗? Depending on the species, I'd have to have a 6-foot-long- It's not funny! 由于物种不同,我必须要有六吸长的… 不好笑! I respectfully disagree. 我真心表示无法苟同 I can't believe you put that on my alumni page. 不敢相信你会在 我的校友网页上那样写 - Who cares? Nobody reads those. - You better hope not... - 谁在乎呢?有谁会去看啊 - 你最好是希望没有 ...because I just read what you put on your page. 因为我刚刚就看到 你网页上的一些讯息 - I don't have a page. - Oh, I respectfully disagree! - 我没有网页 - 喔,我真心表示无法苟同! Look at you. All sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel. 瞧瞧你,甜美又天真的样子 睡得跟天使一样 With Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around you. 还有艾玛那只肥肥的小手抱住你 It's okay, Emma. You stay asleep. 没关系,艾玛,你继续睡 Step away from the crib! I have a weapon! 不要靠近婴儿床!我有武器! It's okay! It's okay, Rach! It's me! Put down the scrunchie. 没关系!没关系,瑞秋 是我,把发卷放下来 - What are you doing? - Well, I heard Emma stirring... - 你在做什么? - 喔,我听到艾玛的声音 ...so I came in to make sure she could reach Huggsy. 所以我过来确定一下 让她可以抓到哈吉 Oh. Oh, thanks. All right, well, now that I'm up, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 谢谢,既然我已经醒了 我要去上厕所 Okay, there you go, sweetie. 好的,拿去,亲爱的 This isn't over. 我们还没完! Wait a second. Why would Ross tell everyone in your class... 等等,为什么罗斯 要跟你班上每捆人说… ...that you are "as gay as the day is long"? 你是〝同志到不能再同志了〞呢? Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs. 因为我告诉大家说,他跟恐龙上床 Well, that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. 那很明显是个笑话 但是这个很有可能是真的 Would you get that, please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day. 拜托你去接好吗? 我整天一直接到大家恭喜我的电话 Hello? 喂? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. 不,他不在家,我是他老婆 Yeah. Well, it came as quite a shock to me too. 是啊,我也被吓了好大一跳 Well, I guess I should've known. Yeah. 嗯,我早就该猜到了 He just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge. 他总是强迫我看《红磨坊》 Hang up- Hang UP- 挂掉!挂掉! And that was a great movie. 那是部好电影 I'm so gonna get back at Ross. 我一定会报复罗斯的 Oh, yeah, this'll show him. Here we go. 喔,是的,这会让他好看 来吧 - What are you doing? - Oh, you'll see, my friend! - 你在做什么呢? - 喔,你等着看吧,我的朋友! I'm dead? 我死了? And so young. 英年早逝 Posting that I died? That really isn't funny. 公告我死了?这一点都不好笑 Well, how you died was funny. 你怎么死的比较好笑 Oh, please. Hit by a blimp? 拜托,被飞船撞死? It kills over one Americans every year. 那每年都会杀死一个美国人 Unbelievable. My classmates are gonna think I'm dead. 难以置信,我同学们会以为我死了 My professors. My parents are gonna get phone calls. 我的教授,我父母会接到许多电话的 You're messing with people's feelings here. 你在玩弄大家的情成 You wanna talk about people's feelings? 你要谈大家的情成是吗? You should have heard how hurt Professor Stern was... 你应该知道当我昨天告诉史登教授… ...when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West! 不能跟他一起去度假时,他有多受伤! You've really crossed a line here. But that's okay. 你真的太过分了,但是没关系 Because I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software... 因为我要去买影像处理软体 ...and a stack of gay porn. 和一叠的同志色情照片 That's right. Your coming-out is about to get real graphic! 没错,你的出柜将会是图文并茂! God, I wish Mike were here. 天啊,我真希望麦克在这里 Okay, if Mike were here, what would the two of you be doing? 好了,如果麦克在这里 你们要做什么呢? What are you, animals? It's 4:00 in the afternoon. 你们是动物吗?现在才下午四点耶 I gotta call him. Just to talk to him. There's no harm in that. 我得打电话给他,只是跟他说说话 应该不会怎样 Phoebe, that's how it starts. 菲比,事情都是那样开始的 "I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing. 〝我不需要吃蛋糕,我只要闻一闻… Why not just a little sliver?" Or, "Okay, just a slice or two. " 那么,一点点就好〞或是 〝好吧,一小片就好〞 You know, the next thing you know, you're 210 pounds... 接下来一下子你就2 10磅了 ...and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. 而你连进门都会被卡住! Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. 菲比,亲爱的,我知道这很难 But look, if you talk to him, then you're gonna want to see him. 但是如果你跟他说话 然后你就会想见他了 And if you see him, you're gonna wanna get back together. 而如果你见了他 你就会想跟他复合了 And I know that's not what you want. 我知道,那不是你想要的 All right, so give me your phone. 好了,把电话给我 - Here. - Thank you. 拿去 - And now your cell. - Okay. - 还有你的手机 - 好吧 There you go. 拿去 - This is your cell phone? - Yes. - 这是你的手机? - 是啊 This is your current cell phone? 这是你目前在用的手机? Yes. It reminds me of a simpler time. 是的,它让我想起简单的柱日 Phoebe? Where's your purse? 菲比?你的皮包呢? - Hey! No! - No! - 嘿,不行 - 不! - Give it to me! - You can't have it. - 给我! - 不给你! - Give it to me! - No. - 给我! - 不要! - I'll go in there. - Oh, yeah. - 我会伸进去拿的! - 喔,是喔 Come here! - No! - 菲比,过来! - 不! Give it to me! - You're crazy! God. - 给我! - 你疯了! Aha! Damn you, Monica Geller hyphen Bing! 去你的,摩妮卡盖勒一宾! Hey, look who's here. It's Joey. And he brought home a friend. 嘿,瞧瞧是谁来了,是乔伊 而且他带新朋友来了 Joey, Emma's right here. 艾玛在这里, You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore. 你答应不会在白天 带女生回来的 No, no, no, it's not a girl. It's... 不、不、不,不是女生,是… - ... a brand-new Huggsy! - Oh. 全新的哈吉! Oh, that's so great. Now Emma has two Huggsies. 喔!这真是太棒了! 现在艾玛有两个哈吉了 No, no. Oh, no. No, Emma has one Huggsy. 不、不,喔不 不,艾玛只有一个哈吉 The new Huggsy. Huh? 新的哈吉 The other Huggsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take him back. 另外那个哈吉,我不知道 我想我就拿回来好了 You know what? When I was a little girl, I had a little pink pony named Cotton. 你知道吗?当我还是小女孩的时候 我有一只粉红色的小.马,叫小棉花 Oh, I loved her so much. I took her everywhere. I would braid her tail- 喔,我好爱她,去哪我都带着她 我会梳她的尾巴… Make the transfer! 快点移交吧! Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Huggsy and I can't find it? 旧哈吉身上有个钮和不见了,我找不到 有没有关系? Don't worry about it. I swallowed that years ago. Hey. 不,不用担心 很多年前被我吞下去了,嘿! Oh, what? I don't think she likes the new Huggsy. 喔,怎么了?我想她不喜欢新哈吉 - But he's the same. - I think she wants the old one back. - 但他是- 样的啊 - 我想她要旧的哈吉 - Yeah, but he's the same. - Joey, come on. - 是喔,但他们- 模- 样啊 - 乔伊,拿来 But he's the same. 根本是一样的嘛! You're not the same. 你不一样 Aha! 啊哈 You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that... 你这样吓不到我… ...after I've buzzed you into the building. 因为是我按开楼下的门让你进来的 So, Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door? 菲比,为什么门边有男人的鞋子呢? - Those are my shoes. - Oh. - 那是我的鞋子 - 喔 Well, when you get over this breakup, we need to go shopping. 当你复元之后,我们一定要去血拼 Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me. 听着,摩妮卡 我真的很感激你这样关心我 - But I'm actually feeling a lot better. - You are? - 但是我已经觉得好多了 - 真的? Yeah, I just kind of want to be alone right now. 是的,我只是有点想自己独处 - Who's that? I ordered Chinese food. - 是谁啊? - 我叫了中餐外送 What are the chances? 真是太巧了 One billion Chinese people, and they send Mike! 在十亿的中国人当中 他们竟然派麦克来! - What are you doing here? - Phoebe called me. - 你来这里做什么呢? - 菲比打电话给我 - Phoebe! - I'm sorry. I broke down. - 菲比! - 我很抱歉,我受不了 I wanted to see him. 我想要见他 Damn it, Phoebe, how did you even call him? 该死的,菲比 你是怎么打电话给他的? There's a speakerphone on the base unit. 电话主机有免持听筒功能 Base unit. Think, Monica, think! 主机,用脑啊,摩妮卡,用用脑! - Look, if I want to see Phoebe, and she- - This doesn't concern you. - 听着,如果我想见菲比,而她… - 这不关你的事! Sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name. 对不起,我只是听到有人提到我的名字 Look, guys, you can't do this. 听着,你们不能这样做 It's gonna make getting over each other harder. 这会使事情更复杂的 Not if nothing happens. Why can't we just hang out as friends? 如果什么事都没发生就不会 我们不能就当朋友吗? Sure. If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join you. 当然可以,如果你们只是朋友 那我也可以加入你们 I'm your friend and Mike's friend. 你知道的,我是你的朋友 也是麦克的朋友 Well... Sit down. 坐下吧 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Make room for your friend. 让个位置给你们的朋友 - So how have you been? - I've been pretty good. - 你过得好不好? - 我还挺不错的 - You look really beautiful. - Thanks. You look good too. - 你真的很美 - 谢谢,你看起来也不错 No, no, no. This is dangerous territory. Keep it clean. 不对,这太危险了,放干净点 So how's the piano playing going? 那钢琴演奏还好吗? Actually, I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. 事实上,我最近弹了许多情歌 - I've missed you. - I've missed you too. - 我- 直很想你 - 我也是 You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. 在我要过来这里的路上 我看到一个酒鬼吐了一地 And then a pigeon ate it. 然后一只鸽子还去吃 Hey. Ross. 嘿,罗斯 Look, I just wanted to apologize. 听着,我只是想过来跟你道歉 Don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me. 别告诉我你真的在做我的同志照 Uh-huh, uh-huh. Check this out. 瞧瞧这个 So that's what I'd look like if I worked out. 所以如果我有健身,看起来就会是这样 And was being serviced by a policeman. 而且还有警察先生为我服务 You're not gonna actually send these out, are you? 你不是真的要贴出这些照片吧? Actually, I don't need to, because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work. 事实上,我没有必要 因为你〝罗斯死了〞的笑话根本没用 Okay? There were no responses. 好吗?根本就没有人回应 Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents... 没有人张贴任何东西 没有人打电话给我父母, ...so the joke, my friend, is on you. 你才好笑 Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. 没有人来电,没有人写什么 没有人在乎我死了 Oh, my God. 喔,我的天 - Nobody cares that I'm dead? - Oh, come on, you know that's not true. - 没有人在乎我死了吗? - 喔,别这样,你知道不是那样的 What are you talking about? You get 60 responses... 你在说什么呢?你有六十个回覆 ...just for coming out of the closet. 只不过是因为出柜而已 I didn't get one response, and I'm dead! 而我死了,却连一个回覆都没有! Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community. 嗯,同志社团比死人社团还要活跃 I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner. And I carried that guy. 我不敢相信,连我地质学伴都没有回覆 以前都是我罩他的! All right. Look, let's think about this, okay? 听着,我们不要再多想了,好吗? You think people are gonna disturb your family at this tragic time? 你认为大家会想要在 这悲伤的时刻打扰你的家人吗? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? 有人会在网站上张贴哀悼辞吗? This isn't about people not caring that you're dead. 不是说大家不在乎 This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief. 而是那并非适合的抒发悲情的管道 - You're right. There isn't a decent outlet. - Right. - 你说的没错,那不是适合的管道 - 没错 Come on. I'm sure if you had a funeral or memorial service... 我确定如果你有举办追悼会 一定会有很多人来的 ...tons of people would come. 我确定如果你有举办追悼会 一定会有很多人来的 Exactly! 没错! Ross, what are you doing? 罗斯,你要干嘛? You're having a memorial service for yourself? 你要帮自己办追悼会? No, that would be stupid. You're having it for me. 不,那会太离谱了,你要帮我办 - Ross, don't press send. Don't press- - No, too late. Too late. It's sent. - 罗斯,不要寄出,不要寄… - 不,太迟了,太迟了,寄出了 Sorry, so is that picture of you and the policeman. 对不起,还有你 跟警察先生的照片也寄了 I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap. Have you seen Huggsy? 我刚要哄艾玛睡一下 你有看到哈吉吗? Uh, original or crappy? 原版的还是烂的? - Original. - No. Sorry. Haven't seen him. - 原版的 - 没有,抱歉,没有看到 Then what's that big lump under your covers'? 那你床上突起来的是什么? - It's Monica, okay? - That's not Monica! - 是摩妮卡,好吗? - 那不是摩妮卡! All right, fine! It's original Huggsy! 好啦,没关系!是原版的哈吉! I know Emma wants him, but he's mine and I need him. 我知道艾玛要他 但他是我的,而我需要他 She's being unreasonable. 她真是不讲道理 Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much! 乔伊,艾玛爱那个蠢企鹅是有原因的! Oh, don't cover its ears! 喔,不要捣住他的耳朵! It's because it reminds her of her Uncle Joey. 因为他让她想起她的乔伊叔叔 - It does? - Yeah. - 真的? - 是的 And she's comforted by him because she loves her Uncle Joey so much. 她很喜欢他是因为 她是那么爱她的乔伊叔叔 - Really? She loves me? - Oh, yeah. - 真的?她爱我? - 喔,是的 But you know what? If you need Huggsy, don't worry. 但是你知道吗?如果你需要哈吉 没关系 Emma will totally understand. I won't, but whatever. 艾玛会谅解的,我不会 但是那又如何呢 Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, Rach. I mean, if... 好的,等等,瑞秋 我是说如果… If Huggsy means that much to Emma, then... 如果艾玛那么喜欢哈吉,那么… Well, she can have him. 嗯,就给她吧 Oh, sweet, I knew Uncle Joey would step up. 喔,亲爱的,我就知道乔伊叔叔最好了 - Look, Emma. Look who's back. - No, forget it! Forget it! I can't do it! - 瞧,艾玛,瞧瞧是谁回来了 - 不,算了!算了!我做不到! Are you-? You're gonna take Huggsy away from a little child? 你…你要把哈吉从一个小孩手上抢走? How do you think I got him in the first place? 要不然你认为我当初怎么拿到哈吉的? All right, you two. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 好了,你们两个,我要去上厕所 I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. 我不希望在我离开时 发生什么事 Here's a few things you can discuss: 有几件事你们可以讨论 Mucus, fungus, and the idea of me and Ross doing it. 黏液、菌类 还有我跟罗斯如何把玩这些东西 I've missed you so much. 我真的好想你 I'm not gonna ask you to get back together. I know we want different things, but... 我不会要求你复合 我知道我们要的是不同的东西,但… - Just to be with you one more night. - I want that too. - 只要跟你再共度- 晚就好 - 我也想要 - But is that gonna make it too hard? - It can't be any harder than this. - 但是那不是会使事情更困难吗? - 再也不会比现在更困难了 I mean, if I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I- 如果我知道上一次见到你 就是最后一次,我… I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved. 我一定会努力记住你的脸 你的一举一动 Everything about you. 你的一切 If I had known the last time I kissed you would be the last time... 如果我知道上次亲吻你 就是最后一次… ...I never would have stopped. 我就不会停下来 Kiss him, you fool! 亲啊,你这个傻瓜! - What? - Didn't you hear that speech? - 什么? - 你没有听到他说什么吗? If you don't kiss him, then I will. 如果你不亲他,我来亲 I missed you so much. 我好想你 - I knew you'd be here! - Aw, crap. - 我就知道你在这里! - 妈的 - Who is this? - It's my friend Manny. - 他是谁? - 我朋友曼尼 I asked him to keep me away from you. 我请他看好我,远离你 - Hey, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe. - Well, you're not doing a very good job. - 嘿,我也在帮菲比做同样的事 - 那你根本没做好你的工作 - Excuse me? - What's with the kissing? - 什么? - 亲吻是怎么回事呢? Hey, at least I knew where my guy was. 嘿,至少我也在现场哪 Yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing. 是啊,咸谢上帝 你在这里监看他们亲吻 - You didn't hear the speech. I've heard the speech. - 你没有听到他说的话 - 我听到了 If he knew it was gonna be the last time- 如果他知道那是最后一次… Hey, it was very moving. You're just heartless! 嘿,那很令人成动 你真是没心肝! - You're weak! - You're weird! 一你太软弱了! 一你太奇怪了! - Your pants are undone. - Oh! 你裤子扛链没拉 Where'd they go? 他们去哪儿了呢? - Damn it. - Well, we blew it. - 该死的 - 我们搞砸了 I blame myself. 我只能怪我自己 And I blame you too. 而我也只能怪你 It's been an hour, and not one of my classmates has shown up? 已经一个小时了 而我同学竟然一个都没来? I tell you, when I actually die, some people are gonna get seriously haunted. 我告诉你,要是我真的死了 有些人一定会被鬼缠死的 There you go. Someone came. 来了 有人来了 Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go hide. 好了 好了,我要去躲起来了 This is so exciting. My first mourner! 真是兴奋,我第一个追悼者! Hi. Glad you could come. 嗨,很高兴你能够来 - Please come in. - Hi. You're Chandler Bing, right? - 请进 - 嗨,你是钱德宾吗? - I'm Tom Gordon. I was in your class. - Oh, yes. Yes, let me take your coat. - 我是汤姆高登,是你班上的同学 - 喔,是的,是的,让我帮你拿外套 Thanks. Uh, I'm so sorry about Ross, it's... 谢谢,很难过听到罗斯的事,真是… No, at least he died doing what he loved. 没关系,至少他死时正在做喜欢的事 Watching blimps. 看飞船 - Who is it? - You know some guy, Tom Gordon? - 那是谁? - 你认识- 个叫汤姆高登的吗? I don't remember him. 我不记得他了 But then again, I touched so many lives. 但是,我敔发过太多人了 So did you know Ross well? 那你跟罗斯很熟吗? Actually, I barely knew him. I came because I heard Chandler's news. 事实上我不太认识他 我来是因为听到钱德的事 Do you know if he's seeing anyone? 你知道他有在跟谁交往吗? - Yes, he is. Me. - What? You mean-? Oh. - 是的,他有,就是我 - 什么?你是说… Can I ask you a personal question? How do you shave your beard so close'? 我可以问你一个私人问题吗? 你是怎么将胡子刮得这么干净的? Okay, Tommy! That's enough mourning for you. 好了,汤姆,你哀悼得够了 Here we go. Bye-bye. All right. 走吧,再见,好了 - Hey, listen. Call me. - Okay. - 嘿,听着,打电话给我 - 好的 - I'm dead and no one cares? - I look like a man? - 我死了却没有人在乎? - 我看起来像男人吗? Please, one ridiculous problem at a time. 拜托,一次一个荒谬的问题就好 This isn't ridiculous. Look around, no one's here. 这并不荒谬,瞧瞧四周 根本没有人来 You gave them one day's notice. Not everyone checks the website every day. 你才通知他们一天而已 又不是每个人天天都上网 And Monica, it's probably the way you stand! 还有摩妮卡,或许是因为你的站相! I guess you're right. Still, somebody must have seen it. 我猜你说的对 但是,总该要有人看到啊 I mean, I went to that school for four years and I didn't have an impact on anyone? 我读那所学校四年了 而我竟然没有影响到任何人? Well, that's not true. You had an impact on me. 嗯,不是那样的 你有影响到我 I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. 我是说,已经十五年了 而我们依然是最要好的朋友 Doesn't that count for something? 那不算什么吗? Oh, great, more party boys for Chandler. 太好了,更多狂野男孩来找钱德了 I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now go hide. 我敢说一定是来看你的,去躲起来 Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service. 嗨,我来参加罗斯盖勒的追悼会 - Kori? Kori Weston? - Yeah. - 可苗?可筒薇丝顿? - 是的 - You look amazing. - And you are? - 你看起来真棒 - 你是谁呢? Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all. 钱德,钱德宾 而且我不是同志,我一点都不是 You are married, though. 但是你已经结婚了 Don't listen to him. He's in a really bad mood. 别听他说,他只是心情很差 I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad. 我不敢相信罗斯已经走了 真是难过 I didn't know Ross and you were so close. 我不知道罗斯跟你很熟 Oh, we weren't. But we had one class together. He was such a great guy. 喔,并没有,但是我们一起上过一堂课 他是个很棒的人 And he talked so passionately about science. 而且他总是很热情地讨论科学 - I always remembered him. - I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. - 我- 直记得他 - 我确定这对他的意义深远 And if heaven has a door... 而且如果天堂有一扇门 ...I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently. 我敢说他一定耳朵贴着门仔细在听 I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. 我好多次都想打电话约他出去 I guess I really missed my chance. 我想我真的再也没有机会了 No, you didn't! 不,你还有机会! I'm still alive! 我还活着! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. 可苗,我知道这件事让你很惊讶 It's a long story. But the things you just said really made my day. 说来话长,但是你刚说的话 让我这一天变得很美好 The fact that you're here means more to me... 你的到来真是对我意义重大 ...than if this room were filled with people. 比房间都充满了人还要好 You sick freak! Who does that? 你这变态的怪物!谁会做这种事? I can't believe I had a crush on you. 我不敢相信我喜欢过你 Did you hear that? 你们有听到吗? Kori Weston had a crush on me! 可筒薇丝顿喜欢过我! No, Mom, I am not dead. 没啦,妈,我没死 I know it's not something to kid about. 我知道这是不可以开玩笑的 It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, okay? 这只是我跟钱德在玩的恶作剧 已经结束了,好吗? Actually, no. Even if I had died, you would not be left childless. 事实上不会的,即使我死了 你也不会没有孩子 Monica? 摩妮卡不算吗?

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