Charlie's parents go on a date while her older brothers and sister watch her. 查利的父母去约会，她哥哥和姐姐看她。
Hi, Charlie. It's Teddy here.
嗨 Charlie 我是Teddy
So right now you're nine months old
and everything is going great.
Well, almost everything.
Now what I'm about to show you is kind of disturbing,
So brace yourself.
Mmm, these sandwiches will be yummy wummy.
Yes, they will, yes, they will.
没错 会的 没错 会的
Mom and dad have been talking like that
ever since you arrived
And if it's not over soon, I'm gonna go crazy wazy.
- PJ! - what?
- PJ - 怎么了
What are you listening to?
I downloaded a podcast on the history of ballet.
- you like that? - More than baby talk.
- 你喜欢听那玩意儿吗 - 总比听儿语好
Would you like some fishy wishies with your cookie wookie?
Yes, I would, yes, I would.
是的 我想 是的 我想
Wait, guys, Charlie isn't even here.
等等 两位 Charlie又不在这儿
No, widdle baby take a nappy wappy upstairs.
So why are you guys still talking like that?
I don't "weawy" know.
I guess we're just kinda fried.
Well, we work all day, take care of a baby all night.
Work shift, baby shift
I've barely got time to make doo-doo
Well, when was the last time you guys had a night out?
You know, like just the two of you-- like a date?
你知道的 比如去约会之类的 只有你们两个
Teddy made a funny.
A funny wunny.
Seriously! you know what? it's saturday night.
我是认真的 我看这样吧 现在是周六的晚上
You two, you go out, have fun,
你们两个 一起出门 好好玩玩
And do something besides work,
take care of the baby and make doo-doo.
Well, it's nice to dream,
but who's gonna take of Charlie
Hello! you've got three great babysitters right here.
I'm glad I didn't hear that.
I don't know, Teddy. It's a really nice thought,
我不知道 Teddy 这个主意挺不错的
But we're really not ready
to go out without Charlie just yet
- You guys want to see a magic trick? - Sure!
- 大家想不想看个魔术表演 - 好啊
- Okay. - Prepare to be amazed.
- 好吧 - 见证奇迹的时候到了
I could use a night out.
Day's all burnt toast
Running late, and dad says
Has anybody seen my left shoe
I close my eyes, take a bite
Grab a ride, laugh out loud
There it is up on the roof
I've been there, I've survived
So just take my advice
Hang in there, baby, things are crazy
宝贝 不要放弃 世界有很多疯狂无奈
But I know your future is bright
Hang in there, Baby
There is no maybe
Everything turns out all right
Sure life is up and down
But trust me, it comes back all around
You're gonna love who you turn out to be
Hang in there, Baby
All right, you guys have fun. Stay out as late as you want.
好了 祝你们两个玩得开心 想玩到多晚就玩到多晚
But not too much fun-- We have enough kids already.
Okay, everyone, be good, have fun, love you.
好了 大家都要乖 过得开心 我爱你们
- Yeah yeah. - All right.
- 是啊是啊 - 好吧
Hey, Teddy, thanks for doing this.
It's gonna be nice for your mom and I
to have some special time together
- Bob, move your butt! - I'm coming!
- Bob 赶快过来 - 就来了
All right, so we divide it up evenly,
We each get to spend an hour with Charlie.
Who wants to go first?
I think you should go first.
And second and third, since this was your idea.
Hey, I'm not doing this all by myself.
you guys have to help out.
Fine. I'll go fourth.
There is no fourth.
I meant I shall go forth to the park to shoot some hoop.
You want to go to the park so badly,
Then why don't you just take Charlie?
What's a baby supposed to do at the park?
Babies love parks. you can show her the duck pond,
The blue sky, clouds.
We're just gonna look at stuff? that's what TV is for.
Yeah heh hah, all right!
This is great. Whee!
What are you looking at? I was here first.
Hey, you can ride that duck.
I couldn't ride the duck. I'd look silly on the duck.
Hey there, Charlie. Are we having fun yet?
嘿 Charlie 我们是不是玩得很开心啊
Man, you seen a kid's birthday party around here anywhere?
I'm the entertainment.
I saw a bounce house of the other end of the park.
A bouncy house, eh? Great.
充气小屋 是吗 这下好了
Another trip to the E R.
Who are you supposed to be anyway?
Plastic man, rubber man?
No, those are all registered trademarks.
I'm Captain Stretchy.
There used to be a "C S" here, but it came off in the wash.
So what's your super power?
Hey, look, there's a quarter.
嘿 快看 地上有个硬币
Ah, forget it.
Not like it's a dollar, right?
- Hi. - Hi.
- 嗨 - 嗨
Oh, yeah, I like your taste in strollers.
噢 你选得婴儿车不错 我喜欢你的品位
Thanks, you too.
- That baby's so cute. - You too.
- 那个宝宝好可爱啊 - 你也是
Oh, I mean yours too.
- I'm Emma. - I'm PJ
- 我叫Emma - 我叫PJ
- Who's this little guy? - My brother.
- 这个小宝宝是谁 - 我弟弟
We're just out for our stroll. We do this every day.
Us too. Like I always say, babies love parks.
我们也是 正如我经常说的 宝宝们喜欢公园
- Would you like to sit for a bit? - Sure.
- 想一起坐会吗 - 好啊
So I saw you talking to Captain Stretchy earlier.
Oh, yeah, he was lost.
噢 是啊 他迷路了
- Not much of a superhero, right? - Oh, he's the worst.
- 他可不怎么像超级英雄 是吧 - 噢 他逊透了
We hired him for my brother's birthday party
- and he sat on the cake. - That sounds awful.
- 结果他一屁股坐到蛋糕上了 - 听起来很悲剧啊
Oh, it gets worse.
The candles was lit, so he sat in the punch
That's so weird.
I mean he looks like such a quality entertainer.
You know, PJ, I'm really impressed that
知道吗 PJ 我真的很佩服
you take your baby sister to the park.
My brothers would never do anything like that.
I hope not. She is my sister.
Now watch closely. In this hand I have a quarter
And in the other, an ordinary egg.
Now I put them in this hat, spin them around a little
Just out of curiosity,
What was supposed to happen?
I love this baby.
Anytime she wants to go to the park, sign me up.
What happened to you?
Let's just say charlie made a friend, PJ made a friend.
这么说吧 Charlie交了个朋友 PJ也交上了个朋友
Oh-- and did either you or your friend
bother to change a diaper?
There's no time for that. I was too busy talking to Emma.
- Who's emma? - A vision,
- Emma是谁 - 我的梦中情人
An angel, the girl who's moved into my heart.
Did you tell her about the vacancy in your brain?
- PJ? - what?
- PJ - 怎么了
You brought home the wrong baby.
What? I did not.
Take a look! Wrong parts.
There's nothing wrong with those parts.
How could you bring home the wrong baby?
I'm sorry. I got a little distracted.
Emma is really cute.
Yeah, well, so was our sister.
Come on, let's go to the park and find her.
Relax! I got her number.
Then what are you waiting for? call her.
Wait a second.
Is it too soon?
If I call now, she'll think I'm desperate.
Oh, you are desperate.
Hello, is Emma there?
This is a Chinese restaurant?
Sure, I'll hear the specials.
She gave you the wrong number.
Who couldn't see that one coming?
But I gave her gum and helped her change a poopy diaper.
It was so romantic.
Well, what do we do now?
Hi mom, what up?
嗨 妈妈 有事吗
Yeah, everything's going great. why wouldn't it be?
是的 一切都好得很 为什么会不好呢
We're just having a grand old time here with--
Yeah, sure you can talk to him. her her!
当然 你当然可以和他说话了 是她 她
Talk to mommy.
What do you mean that didn't sound like Charlie?
What, do you just think
I'm making baby noises into the phone?
Mom, that's crazy.
All right, bye. Say bye, Charlie.
好了 再见 说再见吧 Charlie
Not that I'm in the position to criticize,
But I was getting more monkey.
Come on, let's go to the park.
And meet the girl who blew off PJ?
- I don't see her. - PJ, what did she look like?
- 我没看到她 - PJ 她长啥样
She was hot, but what does it matter?
Maybe we should call someone.
who do you call when you search a baby.
What is that?
You're still here?
Every saturday and sunday all day long.
Stay in school, kids.
Just the guy we needed to see.
I think you can help us.
Hey, kid, I'm just an entertainer.
嘿 孩子 我只是个耍把式的
I can't get mommy and daddy back together.
No, you don't understand.
I was talking to a girl here earlier,
And she said that you worked a party for her brother.
So? I work lots of parties.
Where was the party where you fell on cake?
You got three hours?
This is really important. We need to find her.
Interesting situation. You kids need info,
- And I need a mirdle. - What is a mirdle?
- 而我需要一个“男腰” - 什么是“男腰”
That's a man girdle. And they ain't cheap.
Yeah, neither is dry cleaning, apparently.
Her name's Emma. Did she come back to the park?
Well, maybe she did
And maybe she didn't.
Stop rubbing your fingers together and answer my question.
He wants a bribe.
I can't believe it.
Here is what I know: Her name is Emma.
I just told you that.
I didn't say the information was fresh.
Yeah, I know the girl.
She comes from a big family-- seven, eight kids.
For them I've been...
Astronaut Pete, cowboy Bob...
- Magic Marv? - Yeah! You're familiar with my work.
- 魔术师Marv - 没错 你真是对我的工作了如指掌啊
Yeah, and it stinks.
I'm just starting off
- And I'm a better magician than you are. - Oh yeah?
- 我的魔术已经比你变得棒了 - 噢 是吗
You think this is easy, huh? here.
你觉得变魔术很简单 是吧 拿着
Turn that into a schnauzer.
You can't do it, huh?
Maybe it's because you don't have the chops!
Well, Stretchy, do you know where she lives?
好了 弹力王 你知道她住在哪儿吗
Yeah, around here somewhere.
- I'd know it if I saw it. - Great!
- 我一看到就能认出来的 - 太好了
Now you help us tonight and we'll
get you into that mirdle tomorrow.
Oh, and you understand we're not actually
Gonna put you into it? That you have to do by yourself.
Yeah, I get it.
All right, come on, guys, we have to go find her.
好了 走吧 各位 我们必须得找到她
Uh, hey-- Captain Stretchy, away!
啊 嘿 弹力王船长 出发
- Truck's this way. - Oh, okay.
- 车在这边 - 噢 好吧
Order whatever you want, honey. I get a discount here.
随便点你想吃的东西 亲爱的 我在这儿可以打折的
This place is one of my best customers.
Not what you want to hear from an exterminator.
Oh, look at that.
Not that, the baby.
A little baby in a stroller just like ours.
Yeah, okay, honey,
是啊 好了 亲爱的
This is supposed to be a night away from the baby.
So let's come back.
Okay okay, I'm back.
好吧 好吧 接着点菜
I'm back. Just gotta run to the ladies' room.
Oh oh, hey, listen, while you're in there,
噢 噢 嘿 听着 你去洗手间时
Could you check the traps?
Bob, will you go over and look at that baby?
- I think it's Charlie. - What?!
- 我想那是Charlie - 什么
You heard me, that is Charlie!
Sweetheart, would you sit down, please?
I will not sit down.
A mother knows her own baby and that is my baby.
Honey, seriously, what do you think happened here?
亲爱的 说真的 你觉得能出什么事
In the last hour somebody went over to our house,
Borrowed our baby then brought her out for chips and guac?
I don't know, it's a big family.
- Maybe that's how they get their babies. - Sweetheart,
- 也许他们就是这样搞到那么多孩子的 - 亲爱的
I think you're just missing Charlie
And you're having a little separation anxiety.
- I mean, that isn't possible, right? - Exactly.
- 我是说 那绝对不可能 是吧 - 没错
I'm just going to go to the ladies' room one more time.
Now let's enjoy the rest of our night out
At this very lovely restaurant.
- Okay? - Okay.
- 好吗 - 好吧
I'm needed in the kitchen.
- Charlie! - Emma!
- Charlie - Emma
- Marco! - Polo.
- Marco - Polo（注：一种抓人游戏，抓人者闭眼喊Marco，被抓一方喊Polo回应）
Gabe, not helping.
Stretchy, is any of this looking familiar?
Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't.
You are not getting any more money.
No, I have night blindness.
All I'm seeing is shapes.
Why didn't you mention that earlier?
I needed a ride home.
Oh, great. Mom's up.
噢 这下好了 妈妈起床了
Maybe I'll just hang with you kids.
Captain Stretchy, away.
- Good night, Stretchy. - Good night, Stretchy.
- 晚安 弹力王 - 晚安 弹力王
We didn't hit the streets on the north end of the park.
PJ, we can't keep driving around all night.
It's over. We have to tell mom and dad.
- But-- - No, it'll be okay.
- 可是 - 不 没关系的
They know what to do. They always do.
How am I gonna tell them I lost our baby sister?
I'm the oldest.
They're gonna think I'm the most responsible.
PJ, if it makes you feel any better,
Nobody thinks that.
Why do I always mess everything up?
You know what? This could have happened to any of us.
All right, probably most likely you, but--
好吧 也许最可能的是你 但是
This one, we're all in it together.
Captain Stretchy dropped his driver's license.
Hundred seventy five lbs, my butt!
There they are.
All right, let's get this over with.
Do you think it would be better or worse
if we had the mariachi deliver the news.
If it's in spanish, probably better.
Wait, I don't believe it.
- That's Emma. - So that's Charlie.
- 那是Emma - 那么那个就是Charlie了
Yes! Oh, we're saved.
真棒 哦 我们得救了
- Not quite. - Hey, kids.
- 还不一定呢 - 嘿 孩子们
- What now? - I'll let you know when I think of it.
- 现在怎么办 - 等我想出办法来了再通知你
Mom, dad, hi.
妈妈 爸爸 嗨
- Hi. - What are you doing here?
- 嗨 - 你们几个来这儿干嘛
We just realized you must be missing Charlie,
So we brought her.
Oh, Teddy, you're not fooling me.
噢 Teddy 你骗不了我的
- I'm not? - Nope.
- 我露馅了 - 没错
You spent a little too much time with Charlie
And you're ready to hand her over early.
Well, I wouldn't say too much time.
Well, I am ready too, so let me at her.
不过 我也想接手了 所以还是我来照看她吧
- Gimme Gimme Gimme. - Mom, Mom, Mom.
- 给我吧 给我吧 给我吧 - 妈 妈 妈
You're on a date. Let me bring her to you.
Here? Wait, now?
这里吗 等等 现在吗
Well, all right.
- Hey, mom. - Hi, baby.
- 嘿 妈妈 - 嘿 宝贝
- Hey. - Hey, dad.
- 嘿 - 嘿 爸爸
- Something I want to show you. - What is it, honey?
- 我想给你们表演个节目 - 什么节目 亲爱的
And now for my next trick,
I'm gonna make a boy disappear.
You know, you should be ashamed of yourself.
You lead a guy on, make him think you have a connection,
And you give him a fake phone number.
You put it in wrong. that three is supposed to be a two.
Oh, my bad.
You wanna get a table?
My widdle baby, did you miss your mommy and daddy?
Yes, she did. yes, she did.
是的 她想了 是的 她想了
Oh, I never thought I'd be so happy to hear baby talk.
Teddy, this isn't Charlie's binky. where did you get this?
Teddy 这个不是Charlie的奶嘴 你从哪弄来的这个
Oh, well, that's actually a really funny story.
噢 那个 说起来其实是次很好玩的经历
See, what happened was...
Too loud. Tell you later.
Well, Charlie, now you're home safe and sound
好了 Charlie 现在你安然无恙地回家了
And everything turned out okay.
It would have been okay for us too, but when we got home,
Mom started asking all these questions
And no one really had an answer to
the pee stains in the living room.
And that's when the truth came out
and all the kids got into trouble.
So the lesson is if you ever try
to pull anything over on Mom,
Good luck, Charlie.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
In this hand I have a quarter.
And in the other hand, an ordinary egg.
Now I put them in this hat,
Spin them around and...
Presto! Now hold out your hand.
Wow, that's a great trick.
How'd you do that?
It seems you need information,
Meanwhile I need a new video game.
What a chump.
Who you calling a chump? Hey, get back here.
你叫谁呆子呢 嘿 给我回来