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老友记/六人行/Friends 第一季 第十六集 S01E16 The One with Two Parts: Part 1 / 双胞胎两部曲1

老友记/六人行/Friends 第一季 第十六集 S01E16 The One with Two Parts: Part 1 / 双胞胎两部曲1

Phoebe feels neglected when Joey falls for her twin sister. Chandler struggles to fire an attractive co-worker. Ross attends Lamaze classes with Carol and Susan. 菲比感觉被忽视时,我爱上了她的孪生妹妹。钱德勒斗争火一个有吸引力的同事。罗斯参加心理助产课,卡萝尔和苏珊。

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英汉双语对照剧本

This is unbelievable. It's been half an hour.
不敢相信 都过了半小时了

If this was a cartoon, you'd be looking like a ham right about now.
要是这是卡通 你到时都变成火腿了

There's the waitress. Excuse me, miss.
服务生来了 抱歉喔

JOEY: Hello, miss? - It's Phoebe.
一小姐? 一是菲比

CHANDLER: Hi. - Hi.
一好 一好

Okay, will that be all?
就点这些吗?

Wait, wait. What are you doing here?
等等 你这是干嘛?

Yeah, um, I was over there...
我刚在那边

...then you said, "Excuse me, miss." So now I'm here.
然复你们说〝抱歉小姐〞 所以我就过来啦

No, no. How come you're working here?
不是啦 你怎么会在这上班?

Right. Because it's close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
对,因为离我住处近 而且围裙很可爱

Can we start over?
从头来一遍好吗?

- Yeah. Okay, great. I'll be over here. - No, no, no, no.
好,很好 我回那边去

I don't know whether he's testing me or just acting out...
不知是不是在考验我 还是作作样子

...but my monkey is out of control.
但我的猴子真的失控了

He keeps erasing the messages on my machine.
可是他一直把答录机上的 留盲删除

Supposedly by accident.
应该不是故意的

Oh, yeah, I've done that.
这事我干过

And three days in a row, he got to the newspaper before I did...
连续三天他抢在我前面 拿走报纸

...and peed all over the crossword.
在填字游戏上尿尿

I've never done that.
这我可没干过

Now tell me she doesn't look exactly like her sister.
你看一眼,跟我说她和她姊姊 长得不像

I'm saying I see a difference.
我觉得不一样啊

They're twins.
她们可是双胞胎耶

I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.
不在乎 菲比是菲比,,乌苏扛很辣

You know that thing when we talk about things?
我们说过的那件事 还记得吗?

- Let's not do that anymore. - Okay.
不要再做了如何

ROSS: Hey, guys. ALL: Hey.
一好 一好

Hey, Pheebs. Guess who we saw today.
菲比 精今天我们遇到谁了

Ooh. Oh, fun. Okay.
有趣,好

- Um, Liam Neeson. - No.
一连′忍尼逊 一不是

- Morley Safer. JOEY: Nope.
一莫利萨佛 一不是

- The woman who cuts my hair. JOEY: No.
一我的发型师 一不

Look, this could be a really long game.
这样玩下去没完没了

Your sister, Ursula.
你姊姊乌苏拉

- Oh, really? - Yeah.
一真的吗? 一真的

She works at that place, uh...
她在那个地方上班

Riff's. Yeah, I know.
端夫餮馆,我知道

Oh, you do? She said you guys haven't talked in years.
你知道?她说你们好几年 不讲话了

Hmm? Yeah.
是啊

So, um, is she fat?
她胖了吗?

Not from where I was standing.
从我角度来看是没有

Where were you standing?
你是什么角度?

Uh, Pheebs, so you guys just don't get along?
菲比,你们两个处不来吗?

It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know?
就一些姊妹问的小事

Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one.
大家都说她比较漂亮

Oh. Oh. She was the first to walk...
她也先学会走路

...even though I did it later that same day.
虽然我只比她晚几小时

To my parents, by then it was, "Yeah, what else is new?"
但在我父母眼中 就不稀罕了

ROSS: Oh.


Pheebs, I'm sorry. I've gotta go. I've got Lamaze class.
菲比,真抱歉,我要走了 我要上无痛分娩课

Oh, and I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym?
我要上地球科学课 不过我们健身房见?

So is this just gonna be you and Carol?
只有你和卡萝会去吗?

No. Susan will be there too.
没,苏珊也会去

We've got dads. We've got lesbians. The whole parenting team.
老爸、女同志 家长成员都到了

Well, isn't that gonna be weird?
这不会尴尬吗?

No. It might have been at first...
不会,一闻始或许会

...but now I'm comfortable with the situation.
但现在我已经很自在了

- Ross, that's my jacket. - I know.
一罗斯,那是我的外套 一我知道

Hi. We're the Rostens.
我们是罗斯丹家

I'm J.C. And he's Michael.
我是洁西,他是麦可

And we're having a boy and a girl.
我怀的是龙凤胎

Good for you. Alrighty, next?
厉害,下一对

Hi. Um, I'm, uh... Ahem.
大家好

I'm Ross Geller.
我是罗斯盖勒

And, uh, that's my boy in there.
肚子里是我儿子

And, uh, this is Carol Willick, and this is Susan Bunch.
这位是卡萝威利克 这位是苏珊邦奇

Susan is, um, Carol's...
苏珊是卡萝的…

Who's next?
谁是下一对?

I'm sorry, Susan is?
抱歉我没听清楚 苏珊是…

- Susan is Carol's friend. - Life partner.
一苏珊是卡萝的朋友 一是终生伴侣

Like buddies.
就好朋友

Like lovers.
是情人

You know how close women can get.
女人不都这么亲吗

- Susan and I live together. - I was married to her.
一苏珊跟我住一起 一不过跟她结婚的是我

- Carol. Not me. - It's a little complicated.
一是卡萝,不是我 一有点复杂

- But we're fine. - Absolutely.
一但我们相安无事 一没错

So, twins. Ha.
所以双胞胎喔

That's like two births.
像生两胎一样

Ouch.


- To you too, Helen.
你也一样,海伦

HELEN : Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
妮娜布克邦德到了

Oh. Okay, send her in.
好,请她进来

Hi.


- Hi, Nina. Come on in. - You wanted to see me?
一请进 一你找我?

Uh, yes. Uh, I was just going over your data.
是,冈lJ在看你资料

You've been postdating your Friday numbers.
你一直把礼拜五的数字 往复延

Which is bad, because?
你觉得这样不好 原因是?

- Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack. - Ha, ha.
这有损我的周网量

Excuse me?
抱歉没听懂

WENUS. Ahem.
周网量

- Weekly Estimated... - Oh, Net Usage Statistics.
每周预估网路用量系统 简称周网量

Right. Gotcha, gotcha.
喔,懂了懂了

Won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your...
不会再犯了 我不会让你的

...WENUS.
周网量受到减损

It's not just that she's cute, okay? It's just that...
她不仅可爱好吗? 而且还是…

...she's really, really cute.
非常非常可爱

It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink.
没差啦,兔子不吃窝边草

Ross.
罗斯

Your little creature's got the remote again.
你的小动物又去拿遥控器了

Marcel. Marcel, give Rossy the remote.
马塞尔,把遥控器给罗斯

Marcel.
马塞尔

Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now.
马塞尔,立刻把遥控器 给罗斯

You give Rossy the remote...
把遥控器

- Great. - Relax. I'll fix it.
一好极了 一别紧张,我会搞定

Oh, cool. Urkel in Spanish is Urkel.
好耶,厄寇 西班牙文版也叫厄寇

How did he do this?
他怎么办到的

So tell me, is leaving the Christmas lights up...
请问一下喔 圣诞灯一直开着

...part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
是要让大家整年快乐吗?

No, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's...
有人答应要在新年 折掉灯的

...but obviously someone forgot.
但显然忘了

Well, someone was supposed to write:
有人该写张纸条

"Rach, take down the lights," and put it on the refrigera...
叫瑞秋去拆灯 再把纸条贴在冰箱上的

How long has that been there?
纸条贴多久了?

Hey, where you been?
你上哪去了

I went back to Riff's. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee.
端夫餐馆,乌苏拉好像喜欢我 我只点咖啡

She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.
她送了鲔′鱼三明治 和四盘圈圈薯条

Score.
得分

She is so hot.
她好辣

Listen, okay, before you do anything Joey-like...
听好,你进一步行动前

...you might want to run it by, uh...
可能要先跟那个谁商量过

- Yeah? - Yeah.
一真的? 一对啊

- Pheebs? - Yeah?
一菲比? 一是

Would it be okay if I asked out your sister?
我约你姊好吗?

Why? Why would you want to do that? Why?
干嘛?你干嘛要这样

So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.
这样我们约会时 她才会到啊

Well, I mean, I'm not my sister's, you know...
喔,我是说 我姊姊不归我…

...whatever. And, um...
那个

I mean, it's true, we were one egg once.
但,虽然我们曾经 是同一颗顷户

But, you know, we've grown apart, so, um...
但我们细胞分裂成两个人

I don't know. Why not?
所以有何不可 好啊

Cool. Thanks.
赞,谢了

You okay?
你没事吗?

Yeah, I'm fine.
对,很好

Do you wanna watch Laverne y Shirley?
要看西班牙片吗?

Sorry.
抱歉

- Hi. - Hi.


Sorry I'm late. Uh, where's Carol?
抱歉,我迟到了 卡萝呢?

Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing.
她学校有事 家长的事

You can go. I'll get the information.
你不用参加 我来学就好

No, no, ahem, I think I should stay. We should both know what's going on.
不,我应该留下来 我们俩都应该上课

Oh, good.


This will be fun.
这有意思了

Alrighty. We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises.
好了,我们先从基本的 第三阶段呼吸练习开始

Mommies, get on your back.
妈妈们,请躺好

And, coaches, you should be supporting Mommy's head.
教练们,请撑好妈妈的头

- What? - What?
一哈? 一哈?

I'm supposed to be the mommy?
难道要我演妈妈吗?

Okay, I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time.
好吧,我只好再强调一遍 精子可是出自我喔

I don't see why I have to miss out on the coaching training because I'm a woman.
我搞不懂为什么就因为我是女人 就不能当教练

I see. So, what do you propose to do?
我懂了,那你建议如何?

- I'll flip you for it. - Flip me for it? No, no, no.
一来投硬币决定吧 一投硬币?

Heads, heads, heads.
不,那我选头

On your back, Mom.
躺下吧,孩子的妈

All right, mommies, take a nice, deep, cleansing breath.
好吧,各位妈妈 深呼吸,好好的伸展吐气

Good.
很好

Now imagine your vagina is opening...
想像各位的阴部正在张开

...like a flower.
像花儿一样

Mr. Dee. How's it going, sir?
狄先生,你好

Uh, it's been better.
不算太好

The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
年度使用数据出来了

- And? - It's pretty ugly.
一然后呢? 一很难看

We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s.
打从70年代以来没看过 这么难看的年使数

- So, what does this mean? - We're gonna be laying off people.
一这代表何意? 一不得不栽员了

Listen, I know I came in late last week. I slept funny and my hair was snarly.
我知道上周我迟到了 但我睡得不好,头发很乱

Not you.
不是要栽你

Relax.
别紧张

Ever have to fire anyone?
你有过资遣员工的经验吗?

CHANDLER: Nina...
妮娜

Nina.
妮娜

Nina...
妮娜

Are you okay?
你还好吧?

Yes. Yes, I am.
没事

Uh, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, uh...
这个呢,今天找你来呢

Please don't hate me.
拜托别恨我

What?
怎么了?

Would you like to have dinner sometime?
今晚要共进晚餐吗?

So, Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
菲比,你生日想要什么

Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
真正想要我妈还在世 跟我一起庆祝

Okay.
好。巴

Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn?
这么说吧 要不要瑰珀翠高档身体用品

- Bath salts would be nice. - Oh, okay. Good.
一浴盐不赖 一好,那就好

What is this place?
这是哪啊?

Look, you're cold, I have to pee, and there's coffee.
你说冷,我则想尿 窗户上有咖啡的图案

How bad could it be?
能坏到哪去呢?

I think we have an answer.
有答案了

What's she doing here?
她来干嘛?

This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home.
这是上帝的旨意 要我们在家用餮别乱跑

- Think she got fired at Riff's? - No, we were there last night.
一她被端夫餐馆闭除了吗? 一昨晚我们去时…

She kept bringing swordfish. Are you gonna go?
她一直送箭鱼来 你有要去…?

I'll wait until we order. It's her, right?
等我们点餐再去 毕竟是跟她点,对吧?

It looks like her.
很像是她

- Um, excuse me? - Yeah?
一抱歉 一怎样?

Hi, it's us.
是我们啊

Right. And it's me.
对,是我啊

So you're here too?
你也在这里?

As much as you are.
跟你们一样啊

Your turn.
该你了

- We know what we want. - Oh, that's good.
一我们想点餐了 一很好

- All we want is two caffe lattes. - And some biscotti cookies.
一两杯拿铁 -一些饼干

Good choice.
不赖啊

- It's definitely her. - Yeah.
一绝对是她没错 一对

I can't believe you.
真难以置信

You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job yet?
结果你还是无法开除她?

Well, you still haven't taken down the Christmas lights.
你也没拆圣诞灯啊

Congratulations. I think you found the world's thinnest argument.
恭喜喔,你刚找了个 最难吵起来的话题

I'm just trying to find the right moment.
我只是想等到适当时机

Oh, well, that shouldn't be so hard, now that you're dating.
应该不难 因为你们现在交往

"Sweetheart, you're fired. But how about a quickie before I go to work?"
〝亲爱的,你被开除了 不过上班前我们快快来一下如何〞

- Hey. - Hey.
一好 一好

Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore.
既然人都进来了 就不用再敲门了

I'll get it.
我来开

Oh. Hi, Mr. Heckles.
黑考斯先生

You're doing it again.
你们又在弄了

We're not doing anything.
我们什么都没弄啊

We're just sitting around talking quietly.
我们只是坐着静静聊天而已

I can hear you through the ceiling.
我天花板很吵

My cats can't sleep.
我的猫睡不着

You don't even have cats.
你根本没养猫啊

I could have cats.
我本来可能养的

Goodbye, Mr. Heckles.
再见,黑考斯先生

We'll try to keep it down.
我们会小声点

Phoebe, can you do me a favor?
菲比,可以帮个忙吗?

Try this on to make sure it fits.
试穿一下看合不合身

Oh, my first birthday present. Oh, this is really...
我这辈子第一次收到的生日礼物 真的很·”

Oh, no, no. It's for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
不是啦,这是送乌苏拉的 但我想你们一样身材

Oh. Sure. Yeah.
没问题,好

Okay, it fits.
好,很合

- Are you seeing her again tonight? - Yep, Ice Capades.
-你又要约她了吗? -对,冰上嘉年华

Wow, this is serious.
你们玩真的

I've never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
我从没见过你肯 为女朋友花钱

I don't know. I like her.
不知道,我就是喜欢她啊

She's different. There's, uh, something about her...
她跟别人不同 她有某种特质

That you like. We get it. You like her. Great.
让你迷上她 懂了,你喜欢她,很好

Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
菲比,我事先问过你 你说没意见的啊

Well, maybe now it's not okay.
但现在有意见了

Okay.
好”巴

Well, maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay.
但现在我对你有意见这事 很有意见了

Okay.
好。巴

Knit, good woman. Knit. Knit.
快织,好女人 快织

And that's the Chrysler Building right there.
这边是克莱斯勒大楼

NINA: Oh.


- Nina. - Mr. Douglas.
一妮娜 一道格拉斯先生

Cool tie.
领带很正

She's still here.
她还在

Yes. Yes, she is.
是,她还在

Didn't I memo you on this?
我不是有附纸条给你报告过

See, after I let her go, uh, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen...
我闲除她后,她的心理医师 法兰医师

...Dr. Flanan, Dr. Flan.
发蓝医师

And, uh, he informed me that she took the news rather badly.
告知我,她对开除一事 适应不良

In fact, he, uh, mentioned the word "frenzy."
还用了非常激动这样的字眼

You're kidding. She seems so...
少开玩笑了 她明明就很…

Oh, no, no. Nina? She's:
没有,妮娜吗?她…

In fact, if you asked her now...
要是你去问她

...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all.
她对被开除一事 完全没有印象了

That's unbelievable.
太不可置信了

And yet believable.
却又很可信

So I decided not to fire her again...
所以我决定 在确定她不会伤害自己

...until I'm sure she will be of no threat to herself or others.
或其他人之前 不要再开除她一次

I see. Hmm. You never really know what's going on inside a person's head.
好吧,人对事情的反应 真的很难预料

Well, I guess that's why they call it psychology, sir.
所以才有心理学吧 老板

NARRATOR : The sound Mom and Dad will never forget.
这声音是爸妈都终生难忘的

For this, after all, is the miracle of birth.
毕竟,这是生产的奇蹟

TEACHER: Lights, please.
请开灯

And that's having a baby.
这就是生产的过程

Next week is our final class.
下一周就是最复一堂课了

Susan, go deep.
苏珊,往前跑

CAROL: It's impossible. It's just impossible.
太了不起了 真是太了不起了

What is, honey?
什么东西了不起?

What that woman...
刚才那女人…

...did.
的表现

I am not doing that. Heh.
我才不要经历那种事

It'll have to stay in, that's all. Everything will be the same.
只要宝宝不生出来就好了 那就一切依旧

- It'll just stay in. Ha, ha. - Carol, honey. Shh.
一只要不生出来 一卡萝,亲爱的

- Everything will be all right. - What do you know?
一会一切顺利的 一你懂个屁

No one's saying to you, "Hi, is that your nostril?
又不会有人跟你说 那是你的鼻孑L吗?

Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
可以把这肉块 从这谁出去吗?

Carol, sweetie.
卡萝,亲爱的

Cleansing breath.
深呼吸吐气

I know it's frightening. But big picture:
我知道这很吓人 但柱想远一点

The birth part is just one day...
生产不过是那短短一天

...and when it's over, we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives.
等生完后,我们这辈子 就成了人家的父母了

SUSAN: I mean, that's what this is all about, right?
这么辛苦不就是为了这点吗?

Ross?
对吧,罗斯?

Ross.
罗斯

I'm gonna be a father.
我要当爸爸了

- This is just occurring to you? - I always knew I was having a baby.
一你现在才想到吗? 一我是知道会有个孩子

I just never realized the baby was having me.
只是一直没想到 孩子也会有我

Oh, you're gonna be great.
你可以办到的

How could you say that?
你怎么知道

I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat.
我连叫马塞尔别吃浴室踏垫 都没办法了

How will I raise a kid?
要怎么养育小孩

You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying...
科学家说…

...that monkeys and babies are actually different.
猴子和小孩是不一样的

- Where are you going? - Out.
一去哪? 一出去

With?
跟谁?

Yes.
是的

All right, can I just ask you one question?
问你一件事

Have you two, you know, like, you know?
你们有那个了吗?

You know?
就那个

Yet?
有没

Well, not that it's any of your business...
虽然这不干你事

...but no, we haven't, okay?
但还没,可以吗?

You meant sex, right?
你是指做爱对吧

- Do you have a sec? - Uh, sure, Nina. What's up?
一有空吧 一有,妮娜,怎么了?

I don't know. For the past couple days, people have been avoiding me...
不知道,过去几天 大家都躲着我

...and giving me these really strange looks.
看到我表情都怪怪的

Oh, well, uh, maybe that's because...
喔,可能是因为…

...they're, uh, jealous of us.
大家都嫉妒我们吧

Maybe.
可能

But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors.
但他们收走剪刀 就说不通了吧

Uh, well, maybe that's, uh, because you're getting a big raise.
或许是因为要给你加薪了

- I am? - Sure. Why not?
一有吗? 一当然,有可能啊

Oh, my God. You're amazing.
天啊 你好棒

Oh, you don't know.
还不只呢

Helen, make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise.
海伦,请记得布克邦德小姐 加薪的事文件要弄好

HELEN : Still want her psychological profile sent to personnel?
那还要把她精神病历 送到人事处吗?

- What? - Helen drinks.
一什么 一海伦有酗酒问题

Will you marry me?
愿意嫁给我吗?

- Well, I ended up telling her everything. - Ooh. How'd she take it?
一最后我全盘托出 一她反应如何?

Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing.
很好 除了钉书针

Little tip. If you're ever in a similar situation...
小提示,要是遇到同样状况

...never, ever leave your hand on the desk.
手千万别放在桌上

Okay, I think I get how to do this.
我应该知道怎么操作了

Can we turn this off? Can we make them go away?
可以关掉吗? 可以弄走吗?

Because I can't watch.
因为我看不下去

- Okay, Pheebs, they're gone. - Okay.
一好了,菲比,关掉了 一好

- Are you all right? - Yeah.
你还好吗?

It's just, you know, this whole stupid Ursula thing.
对,就′乌苏拉那事

Okay, Pheebs, can I ask?
菲比,问你一句

So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible?
他跟她约会就 真的有这么糟吗?

Um, yeah.


I mean, I'm not saying she's evil or anything.
不是说她很坏什么的

She's just, you know, always breaking my stuff.
但她老是坏了我的好事

When I was 8, I wouldn't let her have my Judy Jetson Thermos...
我八岁时,不肯借她 充童厨具组

...so she threw it under the bus.
她就把厨具扔到车底

And then there's Randy Brown...
还有兰迪布朗

...who was like...
他就…

Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
你们有过青梅竹马般的男友吗?

- No. - No.
一没有 一没

Well, but that's what he was for me.
他就是我青梅竹马的男友

And she, you know, kind of stole him away...
她却抢走他

...and then broke his heart.
却让他心碎

And then he wouldn't even talk to me anymore.
之后他再也不理我了

He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us.
因为他说不想再看到 跟我们一样的人

Oh, Pheebs.
菲比

I mean, I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my Thermos...
我清楚乔伊不是我男友 或儿童厨具组

...or anything, but...
或什么,但是…

- You won't lose him. - You gotta talk to Joey.
一你不会失去他的 一你要跟他谈开来

Yeah, okay.
对,好

Come on. He doesn't know this stuff. If he knew how you felt...
他不会懂你的想法 如果他知道你这么想

He's falling in love with her.
他爱上她了啊

Oh, please. They've been going out a week.
拜托,才不过交往一周

They haven't even slept together yet. I mean, that's not serious.
连床都没上过 根本不算什么

Okay.
好吧

Oh. Okay. Oh.


Oh.


Yeah, um, may we help you?
有什么事吗?

Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing. Would you come inside?
瑞秋,你干嘛啦?好冷喔 你到袒头来好吗?

No, no, no.
不要

You wanted me to take them down...
是你叫我拆掉的

...so I'm taking them down, okay?
那我就来拆啊

Rachel!
瑞秋

I'm okay. I'm okay.
没事

Mr. Heckles?
黑考斯先生

Mr. Heckles, could you help me, please?
黑考斯先生,帮帮我

See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
我就说吧

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